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2 Bumps

..ok, mamas, my grandMIL has pissed me off.

..im really just venting, but anyone with constructive comments are welcome to give them. ok.. my daughter, 3, called my mama yesterday morning to tell her we were running a lil late but we'd be at work (flower shop) within the hour. mama responded that we should hurry because we'd have to deliver some church flowers before 9. veda countered with 'my mommy said i cant go to church'. that said, i should mention that im buddhist and all my in-laws are devout christians. HOWEVER, I HAVE NEVER AND WOULD NEVER, EVER, FREAKIN' EEEEEVER TELL MY BABY SHE COULDNT GO TO CHURCH IF SHE WANTED TO. ive told her i wont go with her, but she can go IF AND WHEN she decides its something she'd like to do. sigh... her words, when they came from her mouth, were straight from my grandMIL's lips.. im struggling with this. it makes me livid.. which i shouldnt be.. but i've told this woman, in every way i know how, that if veda wants to share her faith, i dont mind at all.. and i support it wholeheartedly.. and i dont expect her to do the same, but i do expect her not to tell lies to confuse her grandbaby. grrrr.

Answer Question
 
eatapeach

Asked by eatapeach at 4:08 PM on May. 15, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 11 (655 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You are doing what is right by your child! Dont let her get to you! I believe that all kids should be allowed to make up their mind when it comes to religion! Keep up the good work mama! You are doing amazing!!
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 4:14 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • So.... you daughter said it, not the MIL? this is confusing.
    Stephanie329

    Answer by Stephanie329 at 4:15 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I get your post. Listen, you are unlikely to change this old woman's ways, let it go! As I used to say to my old roomie who was a Buddhist, "go chant or something until you feel better" LOL! Seriously, they remember WWII, and Buddhism probably smacks of evil Japanese to them. Maybe you could take her to lunch? Sit her down and tell her stop messing with my child, let me educate you about my beliefs and you educate me about yours, leave the baby out of it? Or let your child go to Sunday school? I don't know, there has to be a healthy compromise.

    I grew up in a Protestant/Catholic war in my house. It was ugly. I hope you can figure something out for your daughter's sake. Or is GMIL going to die soon?
    dwmom2008

    Answer by dwmom2008 at 4:24 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • ..my grandMIL DID say it, at christmas time.. and we had a civil discussion to clarify.. she's always making comments to that effect, despite my efforts to be forthright and understanding. lmao @ is GMIL going to die soon.. she HAS gone to sunday school. certain family members on hubby's side take the notion, time to time, to take her along with them.. and she always comes back with great bible stories and little crafts. anything that makes her happy is fine by me. everyone knows that.
    eatapeach

    Comment by eatapeach (original poster) at 4:36 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Deep breath.

    You know what you have been doing is honorable and respectful on your end. Your daughter is too young to be understanding what she said had other implications - she might have been combining conversations she has heard at several homes.

    Now, remember, you are the momma in this case, and it is entirely your call on how to handle this.

    Deep breath.

    First of all, be true to your rudder. You will regret doing anything that violates your current spiritual practice, so try to stay grounded.. and use that as the frame for all your words and actions.

    And remember, your church going relatives are probably asked where you are, and what your position is... so the more you can help them with their script the better. If you haven't had a specific conversation with them, now might be the time. Loving, boundary settings, and soulful.. and in words they can understand. Don't try to cram it all in.
    Onemiracle

    Answer by Onemiracle at 8:42 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Yes, it bothers me when adults trumpet their opinions in front of children, who are little sponges and pick up on it. I would remind your dd that she is certainly 'allowed' to go to church if she wants to, and the next time grandMIL says something similar I would politely call her out on it, ie. "Veda is certainly allowed to go to church if she wants to- it's hurtful for you to say those things, especially in front of her." At least that way those around you know where YOU stand and not where MIL thinks you stand.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 9:01 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Maybe you should not worry about everyone else. Talk to your daughter one on one. Maybe even talk to someone about talking her to a Christian church to allow her to see what it is like. That way she will really recieve the message that you are letting her do whatever feels right to her religiously. No one can convince her that you wont let her go if you have let her go in the past.

    Even if she ends up hating it you can say that you sent her to expose her to it and see how it would work out. Then no one can accuse you of trying to bias her.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 8:00 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Also, if you dont mind then why havent these people bothered to take her if they care so much? They shouldnt even talk if they arent going to do anything.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 8:01 AM on May. 18, 2011

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