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Step parent adoption

Those of you that had a SP adoption with your children, do you still keep in contact with the other parent or his/her family? Just wondering, TIA!

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Asked by matthewscandi at 4:26 PM on May. 15, 2011 in Adoption

Level 26 (27,814 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • No. He wanted out of the picture almost as badly as I wanted him out of it... His family never cared in the first place. I'm sure they just pretend it never happened.

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 4:27 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Do you feel like your child is missing out on that part of their family and/or does your child ask questions.
    I am curious because my boys (one my bio-child/one hubby's bio child) were adopted in a SP adoption. My biochild is starting to ask questions about his brothers and sister (2 bros, 2 sisters-one put up for adoption, he doesn't know about her) and he is wanting to go visit them next year. My younger boy doesn't ask questions, yet.

    Comment by matthewscandi (original poster) at 4:36 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • We're in the middle of a step-parent adoption, thankfully it's consented. My ex has only visited my daughter one time, was not an active participant experiencing the entire pregnancy with me, and he has simply never showed any desire to be there. His family is the exact same. They've simply never had anything to do with her.

    This is really the best situation for her. She doesn't know that side of the family and if anything ever happened to me, she would legally go to him until this process is complete. I cannot even fathom that happening. My husband and his family is all she knows, and right now it just sucks because legally he has zero rights to her (that's going to change within the next 45 days).

    I am sure she will eventually ask questions, and I will not hide anything from her. However, my ex has made it VERY clear he wants NO contact with her. She does have a little baby sister that was born a few months ago (contd)

    Answer by Razelda at 8:35 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • and it sucks because my daughter will not grow up with her. I mean, the situation isn't exactly what everyone dreams of, but I don't feel like she's missing out on anything. She wasn't wanted, so THEY are the ones missing out on a perfectly darling little girl. She, on the other hand, has done nothing but benefited from the entire situation. I don't feel bad for her by any means.

    Answer by Razelda at 8:37 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • When my ex and I got married, I was from Oklahoma and he was from New York. But we moved to Hawaii (he was stationed here). Realistically speaking since we're both remarried now (and him and his wife are dual military) we could end up on polar opposite sides of the world. When we go back home, we're not even remotely close. It's a 23 hour drive from Oklahoma to New York and it usually takes two days. However, my husband is from New Mexico which is just one state over from Okla. I just feel like all in all this situation couldn't have played out any better than it currently is. THIS is what was meant to be for OUR little girl. Having her shuffled across the united states would not have worked so well, and that is IF his family ever decided to want anything to do with her. When we're due to PCS, it would have been really hard to forge a bond between them being several hours away as there was no pre-existing bond there before.

    Answer by Razelda at 8:41 PM on May. 15, 2011

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