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6 Bumps

What to do with DH freaking out over triplets, I need to show him we can get through this!!!! How can I do that?

We've got 6 girls, DH wanted to try for a boy, I wasn't fussed but I thought well okay, we'll finish off our brood and if we get a boy cool, if we get a girl cool... Well we do have a pair of twins already and multiples does run in both our families so perhaps we shouldn't be shocked but we've found out it's triplets. My DH went WHITE as a sheet (we're financially able to provide for 1, maybe 2 more and I know we can strecth to 3 but DH is a worrier). He thinks it's all his fault, bless his soul, and that he forced me into having another and he's wrecked everything. I keep trying to show him I'm so happy about triplets but he's shellshocked, he thinks I'm going to die too! He's panicking like crazy. What can I do for him? He's barely been home the last few days, he's at a friend's who I get regular updates from. Apparently he's just staring into space most of the time. What can I say to him? Do for him? We can do this and I've rearranged our finances to show him that and emailed it over but he's just so stressed out. What can I do to help him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on May. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (21)
  • I would get a sonogram asap and let him know if there r any boys in the pack!!!! What does he do for a living? Kids r not cheap!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 7:11 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I guess you get to keep being the rock for your family & allow him a little time for the shock to wear off. Then, like it or not, dad needs to return to reality. I think I'd be a bit in shock too! I can't believe how calm you are! I guess only 1 person gets to be the panicker in a relationship at one time. -lol :p It's good that you showed him that you are being financially responsible & planning ahead. That should help ease his mind a bit. GL!
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:14 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Honestly, I would be a little shocked too, at the news of three more on top of the six existing children. I am from a family of 10, and my father was a police officer...my mama was a teacher who left work to stay home with us. We never went without anything we needed, though we went without a lot of "wants", and we probably had more "jobs" than most kids, but I wouldn't trade that for the world. We grew up with what a LOT of kids didn't...responsibility and a work ethic.

    You know that the money will stretch because, well, now it HAS to...but maybe he needs to SEE where it will come from and how it will be okay...especially in the early years. Men want to know the practical things they can do to make everything "okay", so he is probably stewing over coming up with a plan.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:14 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • dancer you really need to learn how to filter yourself. nobody cares about your opinion regarding kids and expenses. OP- she will probably come back and back herself up later anonymously.

    anyway, i don't have much advice. i'm sorry he freaked out about the triplets, i'm sure what you need now more than ever is support. other than giving him an outline of the finances and re-assuring him what else can you do? i hope he comes to his senses soon, and congratulations!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:14 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Your doing great now! Just keep reassuring him and giving him time... and your financial estimates lol thats a blessing GL!
    SMITxsM2

    Answer by SMITxsM2 at 7:20 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Well i would be surprised, and most men take news like that a bit harder than the moms. One thing to mention to him(if applys) is that you have lots of baby stuff, so there is none of that needed(cribs carseats etc) unless you got rid of them already, you probably have alot less to buy than someone starting out! If its a boy, he can help buy boy clothes!
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 7:22 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • It will take adjustment for sure, but keep asserting him what a blessing it would be.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:26 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • My opinion is this. My husband and I have no kids. We have been trying for over 10 years and doctors say there is nothing wrong with either of us. He is 46 and I am 36 and time is running short. He would die and go to heaven if I were pregnant with 1, or 5 babies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Get him into counseling. He needs to be home and you need help with the 6 plus 3.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:29 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Tnm, really? What is your problem?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:29 PM on May. 15, 2011

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