Hello ladies! I'm so hurt right now, I need to talk to somebody, but I have nobody to talk to, so I'm posting here... Yesterday me and my husband decided to get a divorce. While it was a mutual agreement, I feel like such great pain, like my insides are shrinking at lightening speed and drying up. It started from such a stupid thing.... GOD - how do I cope with this??
In the morning everything was great, then he came to me and told me a nasty tone of voice that I put his pants in the dryer (he doesn't like to dry his clothes in the dryer). I told him that I was extremely busy (preparing for him to come home from a business trip-cleaning, cooking his fav. food, arranging for a surprize, etc.) and I didn't notice those pants among all the other stuff (all whites: towels, pillow cases, etc.). He demanded an apology from me, and I couldn't understand what do I need to apologize for, and refused to do it(now I think that If I would have apologized, none of would have happened...)
Then he called me crazy and told me F***k you... and left the house. I went to the mall, and while being there stopped by the bank and took $2500 out for an important thing that had to be done 6 months ago: I'm an immigrant, and need to apply for documents asap, because I haven't worked in 4 years, don't have a driver's license, etc. and he knows that this is extremely urgent, so we had conversations about this for a while now, and last time we spoke, we agreed that from this coming paycheck (yesterday's) I will pay the attorney. He on the other hand, has tons of debts, all in collections, and authorized to pay one of it ($4100) leaving our family without money, but he didn't discuss that with me. So, anyway, after I made that $2500 transaction, he called me quickly and told me I shouldn't have done that without discussing with him (he's known by everybody to have a bad memory - can't remember even his own bday) and then he told me f**k you again, blocked my access to our bank account, deleted me from all the places we had a connection in (facebook, linkedin, email, skype etc.). Then I came home and we talked and decided to get a divorce... I feel like that is the best thing to do, him on the other hand is chasing me around now saying he's sorry and constantly reaching out to me, but I don't know what to do, I feel so hurt, I cried my eyes out already, but the problem is: I can't trust him. Every time we have a fight, he does something stupid: either packs my clothes and tell me to get out, then begs me on his knees to not leave; takes my credit card and breaks it in pieces; blocks my access to our bank account; tells me nasty things like I described above; he even hit me once and went to jail for it (that's another long story)...
So, what am I to do? I have a 3 years old (not his), no place to go to, no job.... I completely depend on him and that's killing me... I know he loves me, and I love him too, but I think that that's not enough, I need respect and understanding... Even if we don't proceed with the divorce, I don't know how to live with him...
Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:15 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by Mel_in_PHX at 8:16 PM on May. 15, 2011
i prob get loads of vote down for this but maybe you should stay with him just now but get a job and start keeping money aside and if it dose not get better then leave. that way the money you saved will allow you to get somewhere for you and your son
Answer by feralkitten at 8:17 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by nurse_maya at 8:18 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by dullscissors at 8:18 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by SonyaNaomi at 8:18 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by SassySue123 at 8:20 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by Helen2004 at 8:25 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by Mrs.Salazar at 8:26 PM on May. 15, 2011
Answer by SweetPoison at 8:33 PM on May. 15, 2011