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4 Bumps

Can someone please give me words of condolences for my sister-n-law?

She was about 12 wks pregnant, and lost her baby...I'm trying to think of words for condolences, but I'm having a hard time. I'm also 8 wks preggo, and we talked about our child being born only 2 weeks apart, & how fat we'd big together during Thanksgiving. Plz help. Thanx

Answer Question

Asked by DavaneeKalei at 8:47 PM on May. 15, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 8 (221 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • oh goodness, thats so sad. Right now there probably are not any words you can say or any words she would want to hear, the main thing is that you make sure she knows you are there for her right now whatever she needs, cook for her and her family, do whatever chores you can do to help her out etc and just literally be there for her as much as you are able, in time you will find the right words to say to comfort her.............sorry for this situation.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 8:50 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • all you can really say is ''i'm sorry'' and ''i'm here for you.''

    Answer by dullscissors at 8:50 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • oh wow i cant emagine how that must feel im soo sry to hear bout that.....mayb it will give her peace of mind if you tell her that her baby is with god now and that your sorry about the baby..maybe you could just let her have a shoulder to cry on ..i hope that helps even just a lil bit sorry bout your sis in law good luck!

    Answer by rachel216 at 8:51 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • there not much you can say but your sorry and try to down play your pregnancy for a bit

    Answer by feralkitten at 8:51 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Dang... :( well just let her know that yur there for her and that it happened for a reason.

    Answer by LARRYSWiiFE at 8:54 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • When I had a m/c, what I appreciated most were the people who simply said "I'm sorry." Any platitudes (ie. It's for the best, It wouldn't have been healthy anyhow, It's God's will, You'll get pregnant again soon) just made me want to scream! Also, please be understanding if it's hard for her to be around you, or if she can't handle hearing about your pregnancy right now. I know right after my loss it was so hard to be around pregnant women, especially a family member who got pg very shortly after my loss. This did get better with time, but at the time I just couldn't handle it, and I appreciate those pregnant women who understood and didn't judge me for it. It's nice of you to spend so much time thinking of the best words to say- you must be an awesome SIL!

    Answer by Freela at 8:54 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Thank you all so much. I know there's not too much I can say, but I wanted to send her a card, just to let her know she's in my thoughts and prayers. She's all the way in MD, so I can't cook for her, but I would like to show my support in any way I can. Take you all again very much for your advice.

    Comment by DavaneeKalei (original poster) at 8:55 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • everyone deals with this differntly. i myself didnt want to to hear im sorry or any kind of sympathy or anything anyone said to make me think about it. and i had so much anger in me that i joined a kickboxing class to beat my frustrations and emothions out on a punching bag and it helped so much. but i agree you just need to be there for her regardless.

    Answer by wifey000175554 at 8:58 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Whatever you do don't say "It just wasn't meant to be"..........that's a blow to the face. Just understand that she may not want to be alone, but she won't be the best company. I cried so much that I was probably unbearable to be around. I was 22 weeks when I went into preterm labor and lost my baby. Honestly, just listen and understand that it will be very hard for her to be around you right now since you are pregnant. I cried every time I saw a pregnant woman for like 6 months.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 9:01 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • oh ok, well I am sure she would really appreciate your card and your words. Give her some time then give her a call and let her know your thinking of her etc......I am sure she will feel the love :-)

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:02 PM on May. 15, 2011

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