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my husband works all the time 10 to 12 hrs. a day and he comes home and goes to bed I am felling so lonly what can I do?

we also have 5 kids and I know that he needs time with them to so how do we work this out

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cdw5

Asked by cdw5 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 6, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • I am with ya on this one!!! Mine leaves at 8 or so in the morning and comes home anywhere from 9 to 3am he is a farmer..... anyway we have 2 kids and one on the way and Im alone all the time with the boys wanting daddy and me wanting daddy too!! I give him grief about it at times and sometimes he doesnt use his free time wisley but all in all I know thats y we have a home because he works like this, as for balancing it all out i dont know i havent figured that all out yet!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 11:43 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • You can't rely on your husband for your only outlet to the world. And it's probably really stressful caring for all of those kids alone all the time too. Try to get some help with the kids if you can. Also try to get some other moms to come over or go to their houses. It's hard I know. I only have one baby right now and I feel overwhelmed and alone sometimes too. You HAVE to make time for yourself and make sure you are socializing. Honestly, this is why I joined Cafemom!
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 12:08 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • tell him. you and your family NEEDS at least one hour a day with him. you guys need FAMILY time. and you realize he's tired when he gets home... but guys need his love and attention. Try setting certain days of the month as "family day" or "date night"
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 12:12 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • with everything be so tough finacially for everyone across the world ,everyone is working harder , all you need to do is make the most of the time you do get to spend with one another ,my hubby works long hours and I have four kids and it does get lonely but it makes me appreciate him more when he is home ,sleeping or not ,i just think of the sacrifice he is making for our family by being out their in the cold driving and waiting for jobs ,(he is a mini bus driver) I know he would rather be home with the family he tells me all the time ,hang in there .
    loulou332

    Answer by loulou332 at 12:51 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Text each other throughout the day with loving messages.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 1:10 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I am waiting for the poot to hit the fan with this one!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • At least he's home at night... mine's gone 5+ days a week straight! Have you kiddos talk to him on the phone periodically throughout the day maybe and for you, I don't know... I guess it's just a sacrifice you gotta make, but like i said, at least he's home every night.
    Nunyabiznes

    Answer by Nunyabiznes at 1:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • If he could arrange to be there for a family time once a week, even for an hour, it would be helpful. Other than that, arrange to get together for playdates with other moms. If you can arrange for a sitter then get out on your own for church meetings, or volunteer work, or classes at the college- whatever you would like for a change of pace and to be around other adults for a while.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 1:46 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I agree with krazyash, although playdates are just hunky dory...they aren't for everyone. I hate all the ones around here and have hardly connected with any moms...my oldest is very s hy too...so it hasn't helped him. He does better at the parks w/o scheduled times. You DO need family time and time with your husband, so I suggest even if he stays up one hour one night...it's something you all NEED him.
    mom23boys679

    Answer by mom23boys679 at 2:18 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Sometimes you just have to deal with it.
    My hubby is the same way and he realizes he needs to spend more time but between work and his health issues he's a mess when he gets home so its food and usually falling asleep on the sofa. Occasionally he plays with the boys and we chit-chat.

    I get my socialization from the boards that I love. We get park day sometimes too. You can only talk and nudge so much. Rest of the time you just deal with it and occasionally let them know you are needy. I leave love notes in his lunch, he eats that up cuz it means so much. He realizes he's gone a lot and HATES it but the notes help. He gets ones from his boys too occasionally.

    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 3:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

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