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Why does the bio mom keep telling my ss to lie after weekend visits?

Bio mom told ss not to tell us she took him to see her boyfriend at a halfway house ( he just got out of prison) all day sat and sun or else we wouldn't let him ever go back to see her on the weekends we never told her were she should take her son on there visits although that's not were they should be spending there time this is the 2 time she told him to lie to us but hubby is not to concerned so why am I so bothered cz ss came right home and told us where he went and exactly what she said. He's only six and we teach him to be truthful I am so pissed off

 
rinamomof2

Asked by rinamomof2 at 11:09 PM on May. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 21 (11,629 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • wow, sounds like she needs to be told that this is in violation of the alienation of affection clause in the custody agreement. I have a group for custodial stepmoms, if you want to join...good luck!
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 5:29 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • that's messed up she shouldn't be teaching him to lie to you
    mamawilbur

    Answer by mamawilbur at 11:15 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • It's wrong of her to tell him to lie when you are teaching him to tell the truth. I would imagine that he would be confused about why he has to lie when he has been told to tell the truth. Your DH shouldn't let her get away with that. Why does she have to lie about it in the first place. She can be taken to court if she violates the visitation in the support order.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:20 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I've never been in your situation, but I agree with PPs that it's wrong for her to teach him to lie, especially if you've got him trained to tell the truth. There's no reason for her to want him to lie, either, unless she feels like she is doing something wrong.
    AmourSpork

    Answer by AmourSpork at 6:04 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Absolutely not ok for her to have him lie to you about ANYTHING! Even the littlest white lies in this situation can get sooo ugly. If you or your dh decide to call her on it i would tread lightly, because you wouldn't want her taking it out on your little ss. He would end up being afraid to be honest with you and your dh for fear of being in trouble with her. Its a shame that you have to worry about some "moms" bullying thier own kids but it happens. GL
    Genice6

    Answer by Genice6 at 9:48 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • It's understandable that you're pissed off about it, I would be too. His mother should not be teaching him to lie to you or his father. Be thankful that you and DH are raising him right since despite what his mother told him he came straight home and was honest with you. She as a mother should have enough sense not to bring her son to a half way house, my friend's boyfriend is living in a half way house right now but she knows better than to bring her kids there - she goes and picks him up while the kids are either in school or while one of her room mates are home to watch the kids while she picks him up. If she continuously tells him to lie to you and his dad than I'd call CPS because who knows how much more she is trying to hide.
    anon1986East

    Answer by anon1986East at 9:50 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I think there is a rule about minors going to such places,, IDK,, but I would think your hubby would be much more interested in where you ss spends his time with her,, what the heck did this guy do? Someone needs to call a lawyer and get the court involved!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:59 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Document this and talk to the guardian ad lidem
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:38 PM on May. 15, 2011

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