Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why am I always last on his "list"?? adult content

I'm real annoyed and hurt right now. My SO and I haven't had sex in almost a week, due to both being real busy, and I was hoping tonight it would happen (sadly, we don't have sex even close to how much I'd like, but it is what it is). Well sure enough I even thought of surprising him once he was out of the shower tonight, but he got out too quick before I could light candles, dress sexy, etc...

I thought of still just trying a little something, and right before it was going to escalate he says "Oh babe, I need to do some things for work (x,y,z) and then we can hang out..." but here he is on facebook and checking his email.

I know it's his like ten minutes of "down time" before the work begins- but what sucks is this happens SO often...he wastes his time online, then does a ton of work, then when it's finally time to hang out and/or have sex, he's "too tired" so I either do all of the work or it doesn't happen...

Honestly I want to cry. I've never been with a man who didn't want sex or couldn't find me irresistible, but he has no problem resisting me. He's beyond amazing in so many other ways but his lack of affection and physical attention is really starting to be tough...

Any advice??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on May. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • maybe give him candy corn

    Answer by hisblueeyes at 12:03 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • for the record, we HAVE discussed this- extensively...and sometimes it gets better, but it always goes back to this and i hate this

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:03 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • How old are both of you?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 12:04 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • i'm 25, he's 32

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:05 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I am sure he still finds you irresistible! Is he under alot of pressure at work?? maybe doing that extra work at home is what makes his next day easier. I think you should take to him about how you feel and that you want your relationship to be a priority and you dont feel like it is right now.....but I also think you should cut him some slack as we are in reality talking about a week, not a month!


    Answer by Princess_s21 at 12:08 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • is he stressed about work? Is there other relationship stress? etc...The other thing, regardless of reasons, I always struggle with is trying not to take it personally (easier said than done I know). Sorry about this, you aren't alone though---hopefully you'll find a way soon...

    Answer by LoveBuggsMommie at 12:12 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • shruggingThe only thing I would suggest is interrupting those times he's online for frivolous things such as FB. He HAS to like oral more than the Internet ... just take the initiative. Good luck! : )


    Answer by 805doll at 12:17 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • So you have not had sex in a whole week? Wow how will you ever survive?? It is not like you have been without sex and been put last on the list for 10 months! Cut him some slack. If you have a problem with the lack of sex, talk to him about it. Tell him you want sex, and then both of you agree ahead of time when sex will take place and schedule it into the day/time that works best for both of you. (example- tomorrow night at 9pm).

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • A "DATE" night , maybe ?

    Try to give him the benifit of the doubt, before---suggestion other things.

    You know him, better then us ♥♥♥♥♥♥

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:45 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • and yet you are online on CM ...see the pattern?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on May. 16, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.