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Not even separated a yr and ex has married and is expecting a child....

I learned this news today and must say I'm not surprised about the marriage, the pregnancy did not think that would happen. We were together for 12 yrs our break up through me for a loop. I honestly wish him the best. I'm just a little worried for my daughter, she was his world and as time has passed he sees less of not involved in her life as before. I never imagined things would turn out like this, but I can accept it now. My little one has had her whole life turned inside and out in less than a year.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on May. 16, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Your little one will heal much quicker if she sees you as being accepting and non judgmental. You didn't say if you were married but I am guessing you were not since he was able to remarry within a year. Divorces usually take at least a year with a short cooling period before a new marriage can be done. I am an older mom and a stepmom and a grandmother so I am answering from a place of long life and experience. You will get over this and so will your child, but attitude is everything. You may have to fake it til you make it. In other words, put on a happy face even if you are sad inside. Let your child see how a strong woman handles something like this. Your ex may be pulling away from his child because of very sad, very bad, guilty vibes when he comes to pick her up. Don't be the one causing these vibes. Be businesslike and strong. You will be OK and so will she if she gets the right example.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 9:22 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Disgusting how men could be. I just wouldn't let my child go over there only to feel like she's second place.

    Answer by SMITxsM2 at 1:44 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you and your daughter. I do know of someone in a similar situation. She and her husband divorced when their daughter was two and he remmarried and had more children with new wife. He didn't do much for her daughter and was even a negative force in his daughter's life. However, the mom did everything she could for her daughter and raised her on her own with the father figure being the girl's uncle. However, there is a happy ending to this story. The girl is now graduating HS with honors and has been accepted into her choice of colleges. You can't change other people (your husband), but you can be the best support for your daughter. Stay strong...I wish you all the best.

    Answer by Ashoonik at 2:22 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Yeah, I'm on the flipside. My man hasn't been separated a year and he and I are married, trying to get pregnant. He has no kids though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:40 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • That's so hard. No matter where you are in the healing process, that's a lot to take in one day. I'm sorry for what you and your dd are going through and wish you both the best.

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 2:16 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Sometimes people (your ex) rush into things when they clearly are not ready. Stay strong for your daughter, and be glad you don't have to deal with his fall-out.

    Answer by dlee620 at 12:05 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • lilangilyn, I see your point. If anything I have tried to avoid any type of drama btwn us because of our daughter. However, at times he does things that gets me angry because he feels that there is nothing to discuss among us. It really becomes frustrating when arrangements need to be made for him to spend time with our daughter and her does not consider if he affects others with his timing. I have tried to meet him half way but he just like to oppose whatever i suggest. So we just text one another and i try to make it the least compacted as possible. While i cant deny that my feelings are there I accept they ways things turned out. I wish him the best in his new life. I am focusing on my and my girls and giving them the stability that they deserve. The only thing I want from is to finish what I started school, work only one job that can pay for everything, and find my happiness.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:44 PM on May. 16, 2011