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Slipped that shot right in there, didn't ya?

We have a neighbor who doesn't know us other than small talk over the fence. She certainly doesn't know my husband at all. Since we've lived here (8 months) he's worked up to 20 hours a day - 21 days on - 4 days off. So she sees him just every now and again.

Yesterday she stopped to chat and was asking about him working on his truck over the weekend. I told her he had to take the drive shaft back to the shop like 4 times before they got it right and when they finally found the right part he was like "thank you lord!" (just a generalization about how relieved he was to get it fixed)
She piped right in (Like it was a joke) and took a shot at him by saying "oh, NOW he found that religion when he needed something".

We are Christian and while she don't see us go to church - we join our home church via webcam every Sunday and Wednesday. (We've been transferred temporarily so instead of switching churches we kept our home church and just "attend" technologically - we're being transferred back in 4 months.) I record sermons that he misses and he catches up when he can. We even Skype our Study Class so that we can participate in real time.

She doesn't know any of this - but of course she's never asked either. I can take her shots at me - but yesterday I almost snapped on her. And all I could think was how dare she brag about how much she loves God and is doing "His work" when all I see is a busy body, nosey, judgmental, snide person who thinks slipping insults into a conversation is the What Jesus Would Do. She started making comments like this when I turned her church invitations down - it's almost like if we don't go to church with her, then our 'walk' must not be real or sincere in her eyes.

I know we're supposed to turn the other cheek - but I'm about ready to take her head off. Cracks about the way I dress ("My husband loved when I dressed all gaudy too") cracks about us driving an SUV (she drives a Prius) ("doing YOUR part to keep God's earth clean huh"), cracks about how much shopping she thinks I do ("Boy, You're stewarding your husband's money today aintcha"), even cracks about my hair! (wow, God sure wanted people to know you from a distance didn't He) (my hair is very, very curly naturally LOL) - its just never ending with her.

What the heck is up with people like that - it makes you wanna smack them sometimes. Or just go off like a roman candle in a fire. Do people really think slipping snide comments and hidden insults into conversations is okay - or do they even notice they're being like that? Is there scripture to help me combat her and shut her up? I'm just sick of it all.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:09 AM on May. 16, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (21)
  • If you don't socialize with her, then she'll never have the opportunity to "make cracks" at you.

    Answer by Razelda at 7:10 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Matthew 7:5

    Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

    Answer by bishopblack at 7:11 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I'd have said something. She won't stop until you let her know how rude she is.

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 7:14 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • 1 Timothy 5:12–13 (ESV)
    and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. 13 Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • She is the reason that people have issue with Christians.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 7:22 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Kinda hard not to 'socialize' when she pulls up in my driveway, honks her horn and starts yelling out "Yooooo Hoooo! Yooooo Hoooo!"
    I swear, honestly, I can't open my front door anymore without worry that she's gonna see it and come over. I'm not a rude person and it would just be rude not to 'be sociable' to my neighbor. If my dogs are outside, she'll come over stating that she saw the dogs outside. (yeah and.... what's it to you) If I'm gone too long in a day, she'll come over when she sees me pull up ("you gonna need help unloading all those shopping bags") . I stopped letting her come inside my house - that was my first step in backing away from her - so now I have her visits wrangled to the front yard. It's like backing a hungry stray dog out of your house when you inadvertently left the door open.
    I've just never been around anyone who's THIS pushy.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:23 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I agree Octobersmom. Which is one reason I try so very hard to be the kind of example (even to her) that I'm supposed to be. But it's not getting me very far - except irritated, barged in on and making me have hard feelings towards her.

    O my my - now that I said that ^^ I wonder if that is the very thing she's trying to do. Unsettle me, make me go off on her so she can justify her judgements and gossip about me - because I know if she says stuff to me then she says stuff about me to others - I don't care what *she thinks, but now I think I get it. Reckon she could literally be trying to push my buttons so she can feel justified?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:27 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Trust me, it wasn't a joke. She's taking shots at my husband's walk with Christ. He already works so hard, gives up so much and sacrifices a lot to make a good living for us - he's the most kind, sweet and gentle man you could meet - take shots at me - don't take em at my husband. How dare she judge him as unloving of Christ just because he don't send her updates personally on what he studies or when he prays. What she said was a shot at calling him an "Armchair Christian" - a "Soldier of Convenience"

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:34 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • No, I think she's sad and lonely, and probably doesn't have many friends. Why not pray for wisdom, for yourself, in how to handle her, rather than continue getting mad at her?

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:35 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • That is quite possible OP. Then she'd be the 'good' Christian and you are the bad in her mind.
    I love God but honestly hate religion. I work for a minister's family. Most of my co-workers attend his church, some even attended their private school from p-K through 12th grade graduation. There are people who literally avoid talking to be because I have a gay friend and read fantasy novels. I mean really? Since when is it Christian to judge at all?

    Answer by Octobersmom at 7:36 AM on May. 16, 2011

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