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Need advise on correcting an older child

Hello I hope everyone is doing well today. I need some advise I have very immature 15y/o boy I am a single parent working to make ends meet. I was having some behavioral problems with him about 2 years ago so I hired a babysitter for him. Not do much as to sit him but to help out with his attitude. She. Was only 25 but as her employment progressed no was happy with her. She felt as if he need some stronger correction so I gave her permission to spank. It worked absolute wonders. Grades improved he was much more considerate and through her efforts and my follow through everyhing got better. She recently had to quit and now I'm seeing some of the old behavior patterns creep back in. I don't mean to sound like a terrible mom but I work in a field where absenteeism isn't tolerated and if I don't work we don't eat. I am finding myself wanting to find another sitter like the previous and I'm feeling guilty. I know many people think I'm not living up to my redposibilitues as a parent. Also I know many people are against spanking but it has truly worked with my child. Any thoughts or suggestions please be gentle I know it may not seem like it but this is weighing heavy on me

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Mattsmom361

Asked by Mattsmom361 at 9:36 AM on May. 16, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (40 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • First of all 15 is too old to get spanked, whether it works or not, it did not work in the long run did it? you need to take away privileged and such take away what hurts the most, but spanking will get you nowhere, and also he is too old for a sitter, you are passing on your responsibility to a stranger, and this is not good.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:40 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • You allowed your babysitter to spank 13 yr old boy? My 9 yr old doesn't get spankings anymore. I would get him into counseling. Good luck.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:57 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • spanking a 15 yr old? aykm? Take away priviledges such as his video games,cell phone, if he don't have these try grounding him from friends for a couple weeks and babysitting you pay a person to babysit ur 15 yr old? What a waste of money...He's old enough to watch himself
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 10:16 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I agree with chica679!
    KamiB79

    Answer by KamiB79 at 10:58 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I would look around for an older man who has some extra time that he would be willing to invest in your son. At 15, even though spanking has been successful, I would not want to charge another female with that responsibility. A male role model would probably be just as effective at this point. Suggestions might be a grandfather, an uncle or a neighbor. If you don't know anyone who would be willing to take on the role, I would call around to some local churches, many of whom have mentoring programs just for people like you and your son.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:19 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Is your child 13 like on your profile or 15 like in your question?? Either way - a 25 yr old spanking a child that age is perverted.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I'm with the others, a 13-year-old getting spanked by a 25-year-old? That sound weird to me.
    SherriPie

    Answer by SherriPie at 12:25 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • In a few years he'll possibly be out on his own. He needs to learn personal responsibility and self-control. Talk to him. Discuss behaviors and consequences. Role play some scenarios he might be in where he needs to make good decisions. Spanking is not a long-term solution.

    If he is not acting his age, talk to his pediatrician, or an adult physician at this point, and find him a counselor to help him act his age.
    RedRowan

    Answer by RedRowan at 1:39 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Spanking should not be the only form of discipline for this child. At 15 or 13 years of age, he should know right from wrong. As far as his attitude with you, that's something all together different because is you're his mother and you refuse to be the parent that he needs, regardless as to how many mentors and disciplanary people you put in his life, his issues with you will still remain...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:55 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I think maybe some couseling would do him some good rather than spanking.
    daerca574

    Answer by daerca574 at 11:55 AM on May. 17, 2011

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