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If you only have one kid and are not planning more do you ever regret it?

My son is 3 and I see babies and I want one so bad! But we are not planning to have anymore. For financial and stress reasons! I babysit now but soon will be looking for a fulltime job and he will be in daycare and I would never put an infant in daycare! Plus wells never make tons of money and I want him to be able to have things. But I don't know if I'll get over the baby thing and I don't want him to miss out... Advice from someone with just one grown child would be awesome!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on May. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Nope. I don't regret it.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:03 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • the fact u aren't having more for the reasons u named is very smart!

    Answer by mrsary at 10:03 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • regret? no. wish? maybe. we miscarried after our ds was 2yo, and never consciously tried to have another, but didn't try not to, either.
    it is what it is. i feel for him, sometimes, when he wants to play with other kids and no one is available, or its rainy/cold/snowy and we can't go to outdoor kid-places like a park.

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:04 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I can't offer personal insight, but my husband was an only child, and he was quite happy that way, he says. He never felt like he missed out not having siblings, he had more than enough friends to make up for that.

    Answer by bishopblack at 10:05 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • My only child is just 6, but so far I don't regret it either. We only have one for the same reasons that you just listed. Sometimes I do get that baby longing, so I will babysit my niece for that fix. By the time I return her to my sister, I am so over wanting two kids.

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:07 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I am just about the same as you. Money, my age, the size of the house, the inability to juggle much more right now lead me to the choice of one child. All babies are cute, but they do grow up too. Maybe someday I will regret it but I will be able to look back and know that I focused all my resources on doing one child to the best of my ability. If he chooses to go to college I can help, if he wants to play a sport or to wear the latest sneakers I won't have to say no. Sometimes I feel bad he won't have a sibling but I am just too physically spent to feel guilty about losing more sleep caring for an infant.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 10:11 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • I have to say, I grew up very lonely, I had 2 sisters but they were WAY older than me. I hated it. I always said I would never have an only child. SO I have 4. The first 2 were not planned but the second 2 were. I took my 2nd child with me to California in April and she was so BORED without her siblings. I said to her, aren't you glad you're not an only child-she said YES, I'd rather be fighting with my brothers and sister right now than not have them here with me. Also, my sister and I are so close, I cannot imagine not having her in my life, especially when parents get old, it's nice for them to have some help and comfort. THese are all obviously just my opinion and experience but something to think about. Only children do have advantages though.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:36 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Ps. I feel like you can never have enough money, and people are more important than things, but I know what you mean about wanting to be a good provider for your child:)
    After I had my last baby, the feeling of wanting another one went away completely. I knew with all my heart I didn't want anymore and I no longer have baby fever. (hope that helps)

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 12:48 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • We had only planned to have one, as he was a surprise and we were not at a point where we could afford a baby but we weren't about to not have him. Then before DS turned two I decided I wanted one more. I don't regret having her but things didn't play out like we thought they would. Lots of things have gone right off the track and we struggle. It's an enormous amount of stress for us. Just because you have two or more does in no way guarantee they will play together or get along. Siblings does not automatic friends make. Some get along great. Some fight like cats and dogs. Now I have no desire to have any more. We have our number and that's all. That is not to say every now and then I miss the thought of having a baby, those sweet times in pregnancy and right after the baby is born. I think every mother can relate to some extent. Probably what you're doing. Good for you for recognizing what you want and why.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on May. 16, 2011

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