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Is breastfeeding selfish?

My fiance, who is super annoying with this, keeps telling me i am being selfish because i want to breastfeed. I think he is CRAZY! and Jealous! I am also planning to pump so he can bottle feed once breast feeding has been established. He says we should both bottle feed because then we will have the same bond, which is entirely UNTRUE, i mean even if we both bottle fed our bonds with the child would be different. He doesnt get it and im soooo irritated! and i know he wont care what anyone else says but i told him that he came into the relationship with me being a B.F. mama and why did he expect me to change when we decided to have a baby?? He nuts and im irritated so i needed a nice vent, and his sister makes it SOOOOO much worse because she agrees with him that our bonds will be the same if we both bottle feed and i am being selfish! i just want to slap them both!

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Asked by smilelovesmile at 12:58 PM on May. 16, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 11 (526 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • he thinks he can only bond if he bottle feeds baby? Be damned baby health and nutrition? What a douche.

    And he sounds immature, retarded and well...not worth my time or effort if I was you. That is insane.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 1:00 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I didnt even read all your post but (SELFISH)?! That makes no sense once so ever, doesnt the father normally want whats best for baby? Breast is best and he should be your last concern.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 1:02 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I think he is the one being selfish.

    If he wants to bottle feed, just pump like you said.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:02 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • He is the one being selfish as he is putting his own needs before those of his baby. By BFing you are doing what is best for your baby, and if he cannot accept that, then he needs to grow the hell up!

    Answer by wonderwoman1224 at 1:04 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Of course bonds are going to be different... moms relate to babies in different ways and dads relate to babies in different ways. There is PLENTY to do with a baby besides feeding. All three of my kids were ebf'd (I didn't even pump for bottles) and obviously dh loves them all and they love him. Stick to your guns on this one... perhaps he can have a job that is 'his alone'- like bathtime, or babywearing when you are occupied.

    Answer by Freela at 1:04 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • he doesnt see that there are MANY other ways to bon d, although he bonded just fine with my first child (who was 8+ months when he came around) and he never bottle fed her because i breast fed until she was a year. and they bonded just fine. its so hard to explain to him because hes so stubborn and set in what HE wants.

    Comment by smilelovesmile (original poster) at 1:04 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • They're both wrong. He can bond just fine with the baby if he is not feeding him. He can change the is a bonding moment isn't it?

    Answer by samurai_chica at 1:04 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • That is a silly way of him looking at it! You are trying to provide the best for of nutrients for you baby AND help protect your child from getting sick. I would say he is being the selfish one. Beyond that, be careful with switching back and forth, it's a different form of sucking that they do, and you may not be able to get your baby back on feeding from the breast.

    Answer by kbishop8688 at 1:05 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Wow! He sounds very uneducated about things. Your baby will get better nutrition if you breastfeed. And trust me, for all the pain and leaking and sleepless nights... Breastfeeding is anything but selfish! Although I believe if you are going to bottle feed as well, you should start ASAP. We waited with my middle son and he NEVER took a bottle. If feeding is that important to him you want to make sure he's able.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:06 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Unfortunately, if you pump it isn't the same as actually breastfeeding. When I started to pump, it actually cut down my milk supply and I ended up losing it. For the record, my husband has a wonderful bond with our son that I'm almost jealous of (lol) and he only ever fed him two bottles in his entire life!

    Answer by alphamom26 at 1:06 PM on May. 16, 2011

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