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How would you react?

My hubby's hobby is offroading vehicles. He went a few weeks ago and had something break that cost about $200 to repair (money that we don't have). This weekend he rode with a friend. He just called to tell me, "Honey, I'm ok, but Juan rolled the Jeep with us in it and we were trapped until someone came to get us out."

I freaked! He could have been killed! He says I am overreacting, but I say NO MORE OFFROADING!!!!!

I have seen pictures of hubby in his own vehicle with three tires off the ground! With all the stress we have right now, this is not something that I want to worry over. Now, everytime he goes on a trip, I am going to be consumed with worry.

What would your reaction be?

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Asked by joy2bamom at 1:50 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in Entertainment

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Answers (7)
  • My husband dropped his motorcycle a few weeks ago and got dinged up a little. I wanted to tell him "no more" too but I didn't. I know it is what he loves even though it is dangerous. I would rather him keep doing things that make him happy than restrict him because of my worry. If this is something your hubby has been doing for a long time, I am sure he is good at it an dyou probably don't need to worry as much as you do. We can't help it, I know. I just try to change my mindset when I start freaking out.

    Answer by cat1622 at 1:55 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • You need to sit down with him and ask him if the risk reward is worth it to him. Is off roading worth being paralyzed and not being able to work. Is it worth a broken back or leg that will keep him out of work for a period of time. DH was wanting to be involved with some risky things about a year ago and we sat down and talked about all of that. He decided that the reward he got from playing with his friends was not worth the risk of potentially putting his family in a trailer park. If he lost his job due to accident that is exactly where we would end up.


    Answer by lvnmylif at 2:14 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Of course, you are worried. But to give him orders or ultimatums is not just dangerous to your relationship, it says to him that you have to faith in him, no confidence in him, and no trust in him. It also says you don't respect him as an adult that can make his own decisions. You can tell him how you feel, all the reasons you don't want him to do it anymore, and then it is up to him to make the decision to stop or to choose less dangerous routes...but it HAS to be HIS choice...not yours. It simply isn't your decision to make. Be willing to compromise, and don't issue ultimatums.


    Answer by jespeach at 3:22 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • My dh is into 4-wheeling and used to do a lot of things with that I thought were just stupid. I finally sat down with him and told him how much I worried everytime he went out and told him that I didn't want our boys growing up with out a father. And I didn't want to have to tell them that they grew up that way because their father did something stupid and was killed. And he's the only one that works, if he gets hurt, what would happen then? So now he actually thinks before he acts. I would suggest sitting down with your dh and telling him all your concerns and see what happens. If you forbid him to do it, it might want to make him want to do it more. jmo. Good luck!

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 12:53 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

  • This is a battle in our home too. He has two quads...boy was that a fight when he brought those damn things home! Anyway, These idiots need to see it is not just them anymore. They have wives and children and with them comes a certain amount of responisibility to one another.
    I got lucky in a bad way. A guy my DH was with crashed his into another buddy and broke his neck and the other one had a compound fracture to the femur. So that was a wake up call for DH. Now he understands why I freak out so bad...sounds like your DH needs a dose of reality and to grow up a bit too! Men! Can't live with em can't shoot em!

    Answer by salexander at 9:54 AM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • look, men need to do stupid things to feel like men. especially after they get married and have kids. he is seeking his inner cave man. if you stand in the way, he will never discover fire. know what i mean?

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 3:44 PM on Dec. 8, 2008

  • This is difficult. I know your situation and I know why you worry. Everyone brings good points here. I kinda have a similar situation, but more with the teenager. I feel so paranoid. Almost like a supernatural paranoid. You know what I am talking about. Maybe we should trust God a little more. Thats SO cliche and I hate even saying it, but yet I almost thing God forces us into it sometimes. I am either going to trust God with my kids and husband or I am going to never sleep again or end up with an ulcer.....Thats my only choices. We will be thinking of you.

    Answer by momofsaee at 5:35 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

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