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Would you continue to be selfish with the attention you crave or cut off contact to spare the girlfriend?

I've been single since January, I miss the attention of men. I work and go to school so any free time is spent with my two small children. Not long after my SO ended things I started talking to a guy I met through a mutual friend, we send naughty texts and photos to each other and I love the attention. We've never actually done anything together given my lack of time for socializing and he also works 6 days a week and spends his free time with his 2 year old daughter. I recently found out he started dating a girl about a month ago which doesn't really bother me because I never saw myself being in an actual relationship with him but he continues to text me every few weeks; I know what it feels like to be cheated on and I feel bad for his girlfriend but at the same time I'm still hurt from my jerk ex and the attention from this guy makes me feel better until I start thinking about if I was in his girlfriend's position and how I'd feel if I found texts like the ones he and I share on my boyfriend's phone. Of course he probably either doesn't allow her to touch his phone and/or deletes all his messages before he sees her. I've thought about bringing it up to him that I know he has a girlfriend but I don't want to seem like I'm mad at him for having one. I don't know this girl or have any loyalty to her but as someone who has been cheated on and has had a boyfriend that did this same sort of thing with another woman I feel for her.

So, if you were in my place, would you continue texting back and forth with this guy or cut off contact all together?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on May. 16, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Yes. Cut it off. The last thing you need is a heartbroken girl calling you and asking why her boyfriend keeps on cheating. You'll feel really bad.

    There are plenty of other men out there to choose from if you need.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:28 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • nope, texts would stop asap or would change to hows the GF and kiddos friendly questions

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:17 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • well next time he texts i would text him back with nothing dirty --- i would say - "i know you have a gf. i am not mad nor do i want to be your gf, because you send me messages while you have a gf. i am not going to tell her - but if you really like her - please stop talking to other women like that. please do not write back. "
    that would be all i had to say -- do you want the attention of him = even knowing that his nature seems unfaithful?? that will get you AIDS honey. run while you can. set him straight because... there is no point messing with someone who is a hot=mess like him... :)

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:20 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • you know what to do....

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • cut it off. too much drama can come from this, and not healthy. I'm sure you can find someone else. If he does this with you, he would do it to you.
    AND why would you be sending naughty pics (and texts) to someone you've never seen/went out with??? had that type of relationship with??? thats crazy

    Answer by kkbird at 2:22 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I've seen him, he's friend's with my neighbor and we've hung out at parties - we've just never slept together

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:26 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • i'd cut off texts, however dont think you are the only girl hes doing this with.. he's most likely just like your ex. a cheater.. but there is no reason to be the one in the middle.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:28 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • really ??? u can vote this one down too.... I dont play to point system game. U asked, I replied, and U put the info out there, sorry u were offended ......"vote down"......

    Answer by kkbird at 2:29 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Thanks, I will cut off contact with him next time he texts me. I guess I just needed the support to push me that way. I just hope things don't get awkward next time my neighbor has a party - it's pretty much the only socializing I get since it's right next door and my neighbor knows which weekends my kids are with their dad so he usually throws the parties on a night he knows I'll be able to come over.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:32 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • @kkbird I didn't vote you down, I just wanted to make it clear that he isn't a complete stranger. I wasn't offended by your comment.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:33 PM on May. 16, 2011