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3 Bumps

What to do about summer custody aggrements.......ahhhhhhhh

my family just moved to Hawaii for the next three years,but I have two older children from two diffrent reletionships. I have a custody aggrement to send my eldest for the summer months and the other child's grandmother has just pumped her head up to want to come visit.Now the time has come to decide what to do and how and to be honest I just dont feel comfortable with it. I would have to send them alone and thats a good twelve hr. flight(not including layovers and transfers); neither family is helping with the cost and not paying child support. I dont know how to deal with this or them and need your advice. PLEASE HELP ME

Answer Question
 
team_cornish

Asked by team_cornish at 2:27 PM on May. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would review the custody agreement and maybe consult a lawyer. Does it say who is to pay for the travel? Doesn't sound fair that it should all be on you.
    sneakyboo

    Answer by sneakyboo at 2:30 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • time to draw up a custody agreement that includes who pays for what. EX and I share costs, he flys them out and I fly them back but he has to come get them before and I have to come get them after.

    ask them to pitch in for now.. it's only fair they help out and they find a way to get them an escort or someone to fly with them if they aren't old enough
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:30 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Well send a letter saying that they need to help pay for half of the airfare. Get quotes for the airfare including costs for unaccompanied minors. I wouldnt worry about the flight itself. My kids have travels back and forth as unaccompanied minors since they were 6 and 3. Anyway, write the letter, send it certified and keep a copy. Explain due to the cost of the ticket, no child support being paid and a poor economy this is the only way you can make it happen.
    Once thats done file for a modification of custody that includes who pays for airfare.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:31 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • What does the order for the older child say about who pays? If it does not specify that you pay, then no way should you shoulder the whole cost. It would depend on a lot of factors for me if I would let my kids go, including the cost and who was sharing it, age and maturity of the children, and the family situation on the other end of the trip.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:35 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • what does your custody papers say about it? where you suppose to ask permission to move? and did you? well I realize this seems unfair to you but it was your choice to move. and if your paperwork states that you are to provide the summer visitation then you maybe stuck holding the costs.

    traren

    Answer by traren at 2:44 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • As far as payment , I am responsable for getting her there and he is to return her. but he hasnt been paying child support and doesnt really call enough for me to feel safe about sending her . I feel like im making excuses but at the same time being cautious. and as for the grandmother ..she hasnt offerd to pay either way. im more worried that if i send them they will keep them.
    team_cornish

    Comment by team_cornish (original poster) at 2:52 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I don't know if this will help but this is our situation. My husband has an 8 year old from his first marriage. He pays child support, and he pays for all the traveling. I wish it was half and half, but thats whats in the papers. My stepson lives in New Mexico, and we live in Ohio. We pay for everything, or we don't get to see him. We have been doing this arrangement since he was 2. This time he will be flying by himself. Since he is only 8 there is an unaccompanied minor program we have to pay extra for. When he was living in NC we would drive down and pickup/drop off. I would look at the court order like other posters say. Good luck, I'm sure it can't be easy situation.
    Londyns07mommy

    Answer by Londyns07mommy at 2:52 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Thanks for all the advice ,i guess im going to have to stand up to them both abd make some demands.
    team_cornish

    Comment by team_cornish (original poster) at 3:08 PM on May. 16, 2011

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