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How would you deal with this guilt? Has to do with rape, so please dont read if it will hit a nerve...sorry. adult content

Ok, my step brother used to sneak in my room at night and touch me, I would try to pretend to be asleep so he would leave me alone but it never worked. It started in 7th grade and kept getting worse. After a few months he actually started raping me, I would try to fake sleep and turn my body so he couldn't get to my "girl parts" but he would just move my legs open again. Anyway, I didnt say anything for over 2 years and then I told my parents who didn't do anything. My step mom actually called me a liar until the night my brothers friend caught him. Then he was embarrassed and never came back. Well I just recently found out that I wasn't the only person he had done this too. He would go to parties and give girls pills and when they pass you do the same thing. I feel horrible guilt because I know if I had said something noone else would have had to deal with this...I have no idea how to handle this. I was the first and if it was just me I could deal with that but now I have to live with the other girls pain as well...any advice would be great!

P.S. please don't ask me why I didn't say anything because I dont know, I wish I had and that is a pain I will have to deal with forever!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on May. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • You were 11. It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault but his that he is a rapist.

    I know this won't make you feel better... but nothing that any of us will say to you will make you feel better. Please consider talking to a qualified professional about your feelings. It won't help you to have them eat at you for the rest of your life.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 2:52 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I would go file a report or offer to testify if it does go to court. you're lucky you didn't end up pregnant!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • You did say something, but you said knowone beleived you which probuly made you feel like you didn't matter. don't hold this guilt on a little girl. you we're a little girl. im so sorry this happened to you. tell your testomony more and you can help more people then you ever thought you could, encourage girls not to feel threatened by adults and if their own parents don't beleave them encourage them to tell everyone till someone does. through testomony comes healing
    fun3oo

    Answer by fun3oo at 2:54 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • It's not your fault what he did. Getting counseling would be good for starters.
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 2:55 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Anon, statute of limitations has most likely well passed. Telling her to file a report of testify will do her no good.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 2:56 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I just got insurance through DH work and I am starting counseling in a few days, but I am petrified to talk about what happened. No one has even tried to help me deal with this except my DH
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:56 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • you can't blame yourself you where a child and your parents where suppose to protect you and didn't and didn't even believe you until someone else caught him. where was your dad during this!!!! and was his mother abusing him? He's the one with the problem not you I'd go to counseling. talk to someone who knows the laws in your state!!!! and keep him away from your children no matter what!!!!!

    traren

    Answer by traren at 2:57 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • there is no statue of limatations on rape craftingmama. just so you know
    fun3oo

    Answer by fun3oo at 2:57 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Oh, and I did go to the cops in high school but they told me it would be my word against his and he would try to make it look like I wanted it. My friends dad was the cop I talked to and he told me trial would probably damage me worse, so he recommended I just seek counseling
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:58 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • i am sorry that this happened to you. I know how it feels. My father did the same thing to me from as little as i could remeber until I was 16. I got pregnant with my dd because of him. I never said anything to anyone until I got pregnant and then I just said that it wsa my b/f. My mom wasn't mad at me or him and he was ok raising her except that fact that high school sweethearts seldom work out. and we broke up. However I am also sure that my father didn't do this to anyone else.
    You don't know that if you would have told someone sooner it would have stopped. It might have but it might not have. I know that you think that if you told someone sooner it would have stopped but think about what happended when you did say something. Your step mom called you a liar. It was a friend of his that caught him. I know that this is easier said then done but there is probably nothing that you could have or would have changed by telling.
    full_house

    Answer by full_house at 2:59 PM on May. 16, 2011

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