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How do you know when you had enough in a marriage?

My husband and I have been together 9 years and I am beginning to feel like this is it. I really think I have had enough. How do I know?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • talk to your husband, and see a marriage counselor. If children are involved, don't give up too easily. But if it is truely over, let it end.

    Answer by mom2alan at 2:35 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • We do have 2 children together. This is something I have been thinking about for some time now but have continued to try. I think the only thing holding me back is feeling like a failure. Looking like a failure to those around us and leaving him to fend for himself. I love him and worry he will resort back to old ways without me in his life but at this point it feels like I am more of a crutch to him. He won't talk about it with me to even understand how serious I am. I'm just getting tired of it. What can I do to make him realize he HAS to shape and treat me the way a usband should or I am leaving seriously.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Invision how you would feel to see he with someone else. Also, your life without him. If you honestly would not care if you saw him with someone else, it is definately over. If there is anyway he could talk you out of leaving him, It is not over yet.

    Answer by amydh at 2:41 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • You deserve better, and your kids deserve a better role model.

    Answer by amydh at 2:43 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I think I would be sick to see him with someone but at the same time I would know that girl doesnt even know what she is getting herself into and laugh to myself. What do you think that says? I dont want to see him with anyone else and cant imagine him being with someone else right this moment but if we are not together then that will happen eventually and I guess I accept it. As for being out of my life forever I love him and care about him but just dont know if we can continue in this capacity.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • my heart breaks for you. You obviously still love him, but it takes two to make it work and he doesn't seem to be willing to do his part. Another queston asked how to make her man believe if he didn't shape up she would leave, and there are some good answers there that may help you.

    I wish there was a simple answer for you. Hang in there!

    Answer by mom2alan at 2:55 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I guess I will try to talk to him again. I know guys are so different in the way they understgand things that I wish I had some guy to tell me exactly how to say things so that he actually pays attention and doesnt think "here she goes again" I think that is what it has become when all I am trying to do is give him some insight to know how I feel and how serious I am. I just think this marriage was a mistake and wish I had never got into it to begin with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I knew mine was over at 5 years when we both cheated at the same time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Thats the thing. I have been trying to tell him things have been wrong for a long time and that if he doesnt change soon someone is going to come along and make me feel the way he is suppose to. No one has but I feel with these cracks it may be coming.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • There have been times in my marriage that I have wanted to give up. We have been married 18 years and were married very young (20). Just a couple of years ago we went through the roughest time in our marriage. We stuck with it, got counseling (separately), and started going out together for a couple hours a week to dinner, movie, or just for some drinks. It really did work but it takes work to get there. Good Luck!!!!

    Answer by susan220 at 3:28 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

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