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How do I let him know he must get it together or I'm gone

I have tried to tell him but he keeps doing the same things. I dont know what else to do. I have tried to communicate. I'm at the end of my ropse and either he gets it together or Im leaving.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • My mom and dad were having a hard time a couple years ago. She was at her wits end, and she wrote him a letter (b/c that was the only way she could get it all out of her and across to him). It worked. She left it on the counter for him one morning, he took it, read it, and they never mentioned it. But he got the message and changed some things.
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 2:45 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • i know how u feel thats what im going through rit know if hes not willing 2 change or says he gonna but doesn't i would leave
    butterscotch297

    Answer by butterscotch297 at 2:46 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Do you live near a relative or someone that you can stay with for a while? That way you can tell him that you are going to stay at your friends house for a couple of weeks to give hme time to decide if you are important enough to get his act together for you or not. Then, really do it!
    mom2alan

    Answer by mom2alan at 2:47 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Sounds like he is not taking you seriously. Don't make threats that you aren't willing to follow through with! Make a plan as to where you will go and all the other details. Then give him a time limit. Or just go now or when ever you have had enough. You will have to scare him bad enough to want to change. The only way to do that is to pack up and leave with his kids!
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 2:49 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Exactly like Amy said; that's what I told my mom: You gotta scare him into it!
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 2:50 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I have a sister close by but it is hard because we have 2 children and I dont want to put them through that. I feel when I need to explain things to them I want it to be a permanent thing. Not mommy is leaving for a little while but rather daddy and mommy cant work things out so we aill not be together anymore. Does that make sense? They are 5 and 8 and I wouldnt want to make things anymore confusing then Im sure they would be if in fact we do get a divorce. I think if it wasnt for the kids that would be great but they will be wherever I am and I dont want to put that stress on them or make them deal with any of this until its a definite
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • When I was about 10, my mom had to kick my dad out to get him to realize that it was either the alcohol or the family. It was hard, but we made it through. she simply explained that Daddy needed time to think by himself. We had no idea at the time that there was a chance of it becoming permanent. It didn't scar any of us, but you know what is best for your kids.

    I have to agree, however, about not making threats you can't follow through on.
    mom2alan

    Answer by mom2alan at 3:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I need something that will get through. Some idea but it is sounding like I will need to do something so drastic that the kids will have to know something and that is the only thing I really want to avoid.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Stop threatening to leave. Just do it. Go to a friends, neighbors, or a relative. Even if you leave for an hour to two just don't tell him where you are going or if you are coming back. Take a little bag that looks like an overnight bag (even if it is empty). That should get him going.
    susan220

    Answer by susan220 at 3:17 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • i guess leaving temp. is the only thing to do huh? I just didnt want to threaten to do something that I wasnt going to do but it sounds like that is all there is to do when the rest has failed. I guess I will work on putting this plan in motion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

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