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How do I manage a newborn and my two year old at the same time?

Ok, so I'm 36 weeks with number two girl on the way.... My first girl is 26 months old. As the day approaches I am struggling with how I will ensure my toddler wont feel neglected or left out. She hasn't nursed since she was 14 months but especially with the talk of the new baby, she still obsesses over "mommy's milkies." I worry she will get upset seeing new baby nurse. I also worry about her feeling like she isn't getting all the attention. My other question is how do you juggle the two? From going out to the store with both to getting them out of the car to getting chores done???? I am an attachment paranting kind of Mommy and didn't do the cry it out thing until daugter was 14 months...I'm hoping to do the same with the new baby by wearing her in a wrap and not letting her cry. I just want to be a good mommy and not have either of them feel neglected. Any advise from Mommy's with two or more would be much appreciated!!

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hollysybb

Asked by hollysybb at 6:22 PM on May. 16, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (145 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • My daughter was just one when I brought her sister home from the hospital, you will be surprised how innovative and resourceful we as mothers can be.  Use your judgement and do your best, but do not kill yourself in the process, I asked for help at least for a while, my mom was heaven sent and my dad was my hero, and after you get comfortable handling both you will be just fine!

    older

    Answer by older at 6:25 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Thank you so much! I am also very blessed to have such awesome, helpful parents!! And my Husband as well! It's when they aren't here to help that freaks me out! :-)
    hollysybb

    Comment by hollysybb (original poster) at 6:30 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Don't be overwhelmed. You'll be fine. As moms we learn to handle things as they're thrown at us. Do you have any family or friends nearby that can help? Can you get someone to do the major cleaning for you maybe twice a month? When your second one arrives, make sure to spend some time with your older one whenever the baby is sleep. Do some one-on-one things like reading together, playing tea party, or whatever she usually likes playing. No matter what you do she will be a little jealous and left out. Talk to her a lot too, explaining why her baby sister needs you so much and how you have done all those things for her when she was a baby. :)
    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 6:34 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • At some point in your children's lives they will feel left out...It will happen...Other than that I recommend spending one of baby's nap-times with your two year old. It will be hard to do sometimes but do not clean, do bills, or anything else. Just play with her and talk to her and do whatever you like to do together while the baby sleeps. I have three now and I still do this with the oldest two while baby sleeps. It is a good way to remind them that they are still important. Good luck:)
    BetcCarter

    Answer by BetcCarter at 6:40 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I do attachment parenting, as well, and have two about the same age gap as yours. The most important thing is to give yourself some leeway to not HAVE to get all of the housework and chores done . . .just enough.

    I didn't do cry-it-out either, so I put both kids to bed at the same time for night sleep . . . I have some suggestions to make it easier, if your want to PM me.

    I did the baby-wearing thing for both, and it was fine.

    Just be sure to include your oldest in as much of the baby stuff as possible. That way, she will be a "part" of it, and not on the sidelines.

    Good Luck!!
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 6:52 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • You just kind of figure it out as you go. When my oldest was 28 months she became a big sister for the 2nd time. I also had a 13mo and then the newborn. I was bottle feeding, though, and we don't do attachment parenting. I never had any issues with jealousy and my kids were very independent at that age so it might have made it easier. The best thing I found is to include the older kids. Have them help (take diapers to the trash, bring the baby's clean clothes, etc). My kids loved helping at that age and it made them feel like a big kid and included in what was going on with the baby.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:40 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • When you figure it out let me know. DD will be 19 months when #2 comes, lol.
    Kitkat61277

    Answer by Kitkat61277 at 1:07 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • It is hard...your daughter is used to being an only child. It will def be an adjustment for her. But I think it helps when the older sibling is able to be helpful with the new baby and reassure her of the big girl things that she can do that make you proud :)
    Lilmommy29

    Answer by Lilmommy29 at 2:42 AM on May. 17, 2011

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