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2 Bumps

He lied...

in jan of this year my SO's phone rang, i recognized the number was f/ his ex gf's area in southern cali...we've had a lot of problems with her b/c even after she knew about us and dd, she'd still confess her love to him. then he'd tell me how crazy she was, but once in a blue moon they'd send emails. he cut off all contact with her a couple months ago after her mother was trying to get in touch with him and the whole family just wouldn't quit. none of them are friends on fb anymore, etc etc (him and the ex were already not fb friends and stuff)

anyway, long story short i went in his phone yesterday and listened to the deleted message from that number i was curious about (yes i was snooping, but stumbled upon this- had no idea iphone saves deleted voicemails lol), and he told me it was her sister when i asked him about it, BUT he lied- it was her, his ex...

i know it sound foolish to care, but i do. i'm very upset he lied. would i have been upset if he told me it was her? yea, and it probably would have caused a fuss, but i would have been happier that he was honest. he's hell bent on honesty and openness, so if he lied about something so small- makes me wonder what else he's lied about...

am i just being paranoid??

please no bashing and/or comments about facebook since this has nothing to do with that, it was just part of the story

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:05 PM on May. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • nope, I think you have EVERY reason to be suspicious

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 7:07 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Of course he will say the old tired line he lied cause he knew it would upset you, but he has already shown some attachement to his ex and needs to straighten up and unattach himself from her, so you and him can start building trust and total commitment in this relationship. If he does not, these problems will only worsen.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:10 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I would say he is up to something

    Answer by smurfyangel at 7:12 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • NO! I'd be mad too. Causes some major problems when they start lying. Makes you wonder what he saying to her to make her keep calling.

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 7:12 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • id totally be suspicious...

    Answer by happymom8262 at 7:29 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • You don't trust him he doesn't trust you. Without trust the relationship is doomed. Sorry, but that's how important I think trust is.

    Answer by meooma at 7:29 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I say everyone is right been there done that....once a small lied then another. Honestly, should always be upfront no matter how you take it. You might wouldve fuss about it ...but not as much. Question is why do she still have ways to contact him?

    Answer by FayMeek at 8:35 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • If he lies about something it's a bad sign. Especially if he gets on a soapbox about honesty.

    Answer by tattooedmama126 at 8:47 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • If he already detached himself from her then what did he say or tell her to make her keep calling? That is the question of the day...GL

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 9:38 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Secretly communicating with an ex is not ok. That being said, I wonder how you react when she calls. He has no control in whether she calls him. Even if he were to tell her to never call again, she still could. He has no control. I'm also curious as to what the message said. Was it a "hey, call me" or "I miss you so" kind of message. (Determines their communication,for me). Also, do you raise h#ll when she calls or any time he tells you something you don't want to hear? I used to be that way in my younger days. So my dh omitted and even lied about things to prevent drama. Not saying it's ok, but maybe you should reconsider your responses to things. (Again, not saying his lie was ok).

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:06 PM on May. 17, 2011

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