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Why is me only having one child so important to her?

My mom is always telling me that I should only have one child. I'm getting sick of hearing it really... My husband and I take care of our daughter. All grandma has t do is be a grandma. I'm a Military wife, and I do it bymyself if my husband is deployed.
She has also always told me she wished she would have had only one child.. I know nice huh! It's so rude of her, and heartbreaking to me at the some time..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on May. 16, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • It is annoying when people tell others how many children they should or should not have. Try to be nice to her and let her know its your life and the decision for children lies with you and your husband only.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:50 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • i would def ignore her rude comments although if it were me it would build up n i would go off on her you are a married women you can do what you want (((HUGS)))
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 7:52 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • My mom told me when I was pregnant with the second child I should get fixed because having a third child would be a mistake. I was adopted third?? I would look at her and say we will do whats right for our family. You regret it and thats too bad but that is your issue not mine.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:53 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • My father said that to my brother when he had the first grandchild of the family, and it was because he was worried that he wouldn't be able to ever love another grandchild as much as he loved her...which I found hilarious because there were 10 siblings, he loves us all equally with no favoritism at all, and had to know that one of the other 9 kids would eventually have kids too!!!! LOL

    It might be her irrational fear of not being able to love the other child as much as the child you have, or maybe a fear that things are so much more expensive now than they used to be that "nobody can afford more than one child". Even with knowing how far money can stretch, that was a concern my father had with us to.

    Either way, in the end, it is completely your decision. YOU know that you all are doing okay and have an arrangement that works for the family you're making together, so take it with a grain of salt.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:18 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Wow, as a Mom, Grandma, MIL and sister it is hard to imagine your own mother being so rude, interfering and presumptuous. Next time she brings it up say "I did not invite your opinion please keep it to yourself" I may have thought something to ,myself but to say it alous is just unbelievable and I've had my chances. My EX DIL is pregnant with her 4th child, due in Sept. All three of her other children have been removed from her custody. ...and I STILL wouldn't say that to her.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:20 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Sometimes ppl just don't think before they speak and it sounds like your mom is one of those kind of people. I would just ignore her or if you can't just tell her "If you don't like the chance of becoming a grandma more than once then maybe you shouldn't be a grandma to one."
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 9:22 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • I would tell her that she had her children and now it's time for you to have yours. Tell her that how many children you have is between you and your DH and she has no say in the matter. And I would most likely tell her that if she can't keep her negative opinions about my child bearing to herself, there's the door out of my life. But, that's just me.
    kasey22

    Answer by kasey22 at 12:42 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Not sure why that is. My mother was the same way. I had my first (and although she babysat, we are independent) in 2001. I miscarried in 2005 and she said that I only needed one child any way (not sure if she was trying to comfort me or what). Then in 2007 I became pregnant with my 3 year old. She didn't seem interested in the pregnancy at all (went with me to my eldest's appts) and my 3 year old was 1 before she'd have anything to do with him. She now adores him. I don't understand it myself, it doesn't make any sense.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 3:17 PM on May. 17, 2011

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