DH & his 3 brothers wanted to plan an 80th bday party for my FIL next month at a restaurant. We all thought it was a great idea & were going to split the bill 4 ways to cover the cost of reserving a small banquet room & buffet. There are some nice places around here that are reasonable, so no big deal, right? Except that DH's youngest brother took it upon himself to choose the restaurant & put a deposit down on the room. It's one of the most expensive places in town! The deposit is non-refundable, so we either use the room or BIL is out the money. BIL projects that our share of the bill will be around $300 minimum (final cost depends on how many come to the party).
We CANNOT afford to chip in $300 right now, let alone more. We can just pay our bills each month, DH really needs a new vehicle & mine's not exactly in tip-top shape either, plus our house needs some significant repair work. We went through our savings when DH was laid off & have just started getting back on our feet. If we help pay for this party, our savings will wiped out again.
I told DH that we cannot afford this & he agrees, but still says we'll just have to deal with it. He says he'll sell some tools or something (he needs those tools for his job!) to make the extra money. I told him to talk to his brother & explain to him that we can't afford that much, but we'll chip in what we can. DH doesn't think that's "fair", that his brothers shouldn't have to carry the bulk of the cost. Personally, I think his youngest brother, the one who made the mess, should have to "just deal with it" and pick up the slack since he unilaterally chose the place & put down the deposit. I know my DH's other two brothers can't afford this any more than we can, plus they'll be coming in from out of state & have to pay for hotel costs, too.
Now DH is mad at me because I am upset about all this. He thinks I shouldn't be upset because "what's done is done". I disagree. I don't think this is a done deal. I think he needs to talk to his brothers & figure something out. The party is in 3 weeks & BIL just told us last night what he did, so there isn't much time to fix this mess.
Do I have a right to be mad at him? Anybody else have any suggestions on the best way to handle this situation?
Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on May. 16, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by Aneya at 9:50 PM on May. 16, 2011
Answer by Jademom07 at 9:46 PM on May. 16, 2011
Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:47 PM on May. 16, 2011
Answer by lmv1970 at 11:01 PM on May. 16, 2011
Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:06 PM on May. 16, 2011
Answer by laird6372 at 11:37 PM on May. 16, 2011
Answer by 1smartcookie at 9:54 AM on May. 17, 2011
Answer by sarasmommy777 at 9:46 PM on May. 16, 2011
Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:48 PM on May. 16, 2011