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How can I get my son out of his negative phase?

My 3-year-old son is very negative. When he gets hurt, we ask him if he's o.k., he days, "No, I'm not o.k." - every time! He gets into these negative pouts and has an unpleasant attitude on a lot of things. He doesn't do it so much when we're out, but it does happen on occasion. Is this just a stage he's going through? We're getting really sick of it!! It's very annoying! What can my DH and I do about this? Please help! Thanks!

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Asked by Mari6443 at 11:31 PM on May. 16, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 7 (205 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Bes thing to do is ignore it and he will out grow it! Also make sure you and dh are leading by example as actions speak louder than words! GL

    Answer by harris4 at 11:34 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Do you give him a hug and kiss and tell him he will be fine?

    It show that you care, some kids need it and some don't.

    Answer by gammie at 11:41 PM on May. 16, 2011

  • Does he hear someone else saying this? Sometimes kids can pick up on what other people say, especially at that age. I know I had to be careful what I said in front of my kids. If he says it again, why don't you ask him, " can you tell me what is still wrong? Maybe I can help you."

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:20 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • if he says "i cant", like my ds used to say a lot, tell him "yes you can!!" and even if he cant, tell him that he did a good job and ask if he wants help. he might need help with possitive encouragement. i didnt realize that my ds needed it until he was doing a puzzle that he did fine the day before without help but kept saying "i cant do this mommy." If he falls, get up and help him up, ask if he has any owies, give him "magical mommy kisses", see if he feels better, if not repeat kisses, then send him on his merry way.

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 9:17 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I ask my son if he wants me to cut off the injured body part if it's something obviously minor. He usually looks at me, laughs and says "No, Mommy!" then runs back to whatever he was doing.

    Answer by makelineerror at 12:00 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I do give both my kids lots of love and kisses; that comes naturally to me. So it's not like he's not getting any affection at all. And to my knowledge, he doesn't hear anyone say anything negative. So I don't know where he's getting this. But I will keep everyone's advice in mind. Thanks, everyone!

    Comment by Mari6443 (original poster) at 3:37 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Maybe he just needs to have his experience, reality, & perspective. I can totally understand the annoying aspect of it, too. You wish he wouldn't be this way, or could get over it quickly. Maybe you could consider an internal message such as "He's allowed to have his feelings," & remind yourself of this when you are wanting him to change. If you think of it in those terms, it might help your perception & personal experience.
    When I am feeling especially irritated by something, there generally is an underlying thought or belief that accounts for the discomfort. This includes anytime I'm not accepting reality (thinking that something "shouldn't" be this way or shouldn't be happening, or "he shouldn't be doing this.") Usually painful & unconscious thoughts (like "if I were a good mom, he wouldn't...") are behind strong reactions.
    The more you can accept (vs. resist) his personal expression, the less entrenched he's likely to be.

    Answer by girlwithC at 5:16 PM on May. 17, 2011

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