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3 Bumps

Some one please help me out...i need advice....i feel like I am physically and emotionally breaking down...

So it all starts, when I was 15 I started dating my ex-SO.
After I had our son, when I was 18, he beat me up, bad.
After a while I took him back, ppl change if they want to and he was getting a lot of help for himself.
Well fastforward to over a year later, he and I were in a very aggressive argument, so I called the cops on him because he pushed me down to the ground, he got a violtion of probation and served a week in jail.
he got out
we got in an argument a week later and i brought up the fact that he should just go back to jail, he took that as a threat and packed his stuff, and has not been back.

I've cried for hours upon hours, it's going on the 3rd week since he's been gone. He comes here every once in a while, but it seems like he just ignores me all together. he tells me he loves me and he cares about me but he doesnt want to be with me anymore because he doesn't feel safe around me, like im just going to put him in jail out of spite.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • you should leave him. you are not the one who put him in jail- he put himself in jail. he needs to know how to keep his hands to himself. he should get a punching bag. did you know there are lots of guys out there that don't hit women ? it sounds like u miss him. he will only hit you again. know your worth.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:07 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • OH AND BY THE WAY, HE SHOULD NOT FELL SAFE AROUND YOU !!!!

    That is a ABUSERS GUITLT TRIP !!!!

    F**K HIM !!!!!

    DO NOT LET HIM>>>>>> MAY YOU FEEL LIKE THE BAD GUY !!!!!!!!
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:18 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • HONEY....WHY DOES HE HAVE THE CHOICE TO COME BACK TO YOU?! He has hit you on multiple occasions. That "help" he got, didn't work. You have a child to consider, and having one parent hit the other and walk out periodically is NOT good for the child.

    The fact that you are crying over a man that hits you, saying you know he loves you (which, you don't abuse someone you love!), and saying that you feel broken down REALLY worries me. It just screams at me that you think you deserve that, that he is the best you can do, that what he has done can be rationalized away.

    You need to find your own strength. I mean it. You are young and you can BE something and DO something with yourself and find a GOOD man that will help you provide a STABLE family for your child. Biology isn't enough.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:35 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • your better off without him...not healthy at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Why did you not get a 50-B a Domestic Protective Order, to make him stay away ?


    Honey, you do not have to put up with HIS SHIT......
    BABIES DADDY OR NOT !!!


    GET A BACK- BONE HONEY !!!!!!!

    YOU DESEARVE BETTER ♥♥♥♥♥♥

    Always hear to talk too....and kinda a night owl ?

    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:15 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • honey you have luck up and made it out in one piece,let him become problem,as for pople change yea tell you way a tiger can't change his spots cause he don't have any.doon't go back,cause the next time he will hurt you befor you make it to a phone ,casue he know you are not afraid to call them on him
    MADUKES402

    Answer by MADUKES402 at 2:29 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • well you would have probably left him if he didn't right? he probably saw that coming and didnt want to be rejected so ran first
    i would take it as a learning experience and i can imagine your pain :( hang in there, you got all the utensils to be happy, just gotta let some time pass
    someone once told me "just because you love someone doesn't mean they are right for you"
    on a more positive note, you have a WHOLE life ahead of you, hang in there
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 2:31 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • He needs time alone to work through his issues. He's not ready for a relationship and probobly won't be, EVER. It's like a wild animal. Once a bear or gator etc.. Attacks a human they are gauranteed to continue the behavior. People are the same way. He lacks the emotional maturity needed to deal with his emotions so he strikes out at you. Toddlers do this. He is an emotional toddler. He has to first get over whatever has stopped his emotional development than he has to start all over in his emotional development. Maybe if he gets into therapy now... He'll be ready for an adult relationship in about 20 years. Don't wait around for him. If you stay in this relationship you will enable him to never develop. He needs to be alone to work his shit out. You can do so much better for you and your baby. Move on so you can be happy and he can grow up.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:31 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • he's telling u he loves u but can't be with u because it's a form of control. he won't change from the sound of it. he's gotten away with it too many times plus u still want him now. the damage is done. i was married to an abuser for 3 yrs been divorced 6 months haven't seen each other since mothers day 2010, also the last time he beat me up & to this day he tries to verbally abuse me every chance he gets. don't have anymore kids by the guy cause he will either try to get custody or be a deadbeat.
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 4:56 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • You must hold your ground, dont fall for this, he must realize its not your fault but his Do some to get your mind off the problem....think about your future and better prepare for it seriouly, thing
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 5:23 AM on May. 17, 2011

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