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4 Bumps

So much for trying to concieve..*sigh*... (vent) adult content

My husband and I want to have another baby... but i feel so alone with everything! Uh HELLO?? In order for me to get pregnant...we have to have sex. In order to have sex..you must be awake aware...and umm... turned on. We just don't have that vibe that just makes us wanna jump on one another right now. I WANT to have sex and i feel sexy.... but its like the same shit different day. And he is SO tired from work he is just like.. dead. It's like he WANTS to have sex, but he is so tired he is so freakin lazy about it. Im tired of feeling sexy and thinking he is going to look at me and wanna come over to me and start something but instead he doesnt even notice and just is like a zombie he is so tired all the time.
ugh.... this is the second night in a row that i have made dinner for us and have ate alone..im tired of being alone.
im afraid for us. This is making me not want to get pregnant again. I can NOT do everything alone... believe me i have told him how i feel..he just says he will find a new job. But we are so comfortable financially with this job. This is really startin to take a toll on me. I dont want to live my life like this....alone all the time. I NEEED attention from my husband...
I am so upset and helpless here...please help me. :-/

Answer Question
 
Mommy103110

Asked by Mommy103110 at 12:44 AM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,699 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • man ive been there and am there from time to time.... i wish i had better advice, i know that when my man gets down and tired from work and life, he wont admit it til its been a year or so, but uh hello i soooo can tell because when im all hot and sexy and hes still not jumping me like he used to 8 years ago! thats when i know its time he finally needs to take a few days off from everything; honey do list, kids, work, family get togethers, me bugging him about TTC. all of it ... if he cant get time off from work he might be able to get a friday or monday off so atleast its a 3 day weekend or atleast i can give him time from all the things going on for one day , men are just as bad as woman they worry but dont talk about it. one time in june we managed to get a babysitter at the last minute we packed up the dirt bike, some food and sleeping bags and went a couple hours away and had a blast just him me and the stars awesome.
    RobinEsMommy

    Answer by RobinEsMommy at 1:12 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • hun, it sounds as tho ure life is too hectic for another. its a great thing that ure feeling sexy and attractive, but ur husband does need to sleep. dont plan dinner til u kno hell absolutely be up to it...no time for dinner?> how about breakfast together? mix it up...n dnt do roses, champgne...etc...im a woman but i know that mojority of men just want a quicky...unfortunatly
    Dreamer81484

    Answer by Dreamer81484 at 1:13 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • hugs


     


    I know exactly how you feel, I go through the same thing with my husband.

    mrsziemann

    Answer by mrsziemann at 1:16 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I know our life is pretty hectic right now...and im starting to feel like maybe we should wait till we find out what we are going to do to help our relationship before we have another child. But in my heart i know it is right to do this now. But we just gotta figure out what to do with his job. If we have to take a huge pay cut and live pretty tight to save our marriage...its worth it. I just dont want that added stress of money especially when we know we want more kids together. Him working nights actually has a LOT of benefits... but right now they are just working him tooo hard!!
    Mommy103110

    Comment by Mommy103110 (original poster) at 1:17 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Breakfast sounds perfect!! He would LOVE to come home to a meal after work! Everytime he comes home in the mornings he is always talking about how hungry he is. perfect!! Thank you!!
    Mommy103110

    Comment by Mommy103110 (original poster) at 1:22 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I have been there!! DH used to work on call, working back to back doubles, and never knowing what shift he would work. But financially we had to do it. It will get better, you just have to find a rhythm
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 1:35 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Sounds like you have a plan now! :)
    SonyaNaomi

    Answer by SonyaNaomi at 9:56 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Thank you ladies! And yes! We are trying to get on a rhythm but it changes everyday! lol only problem with doing breakfast for him is that i never know when he will make it home. He SAYS he will make it by 9 but then one walk thru the door till like noon!
    Mommy103110

    Comment by Mommy103110 (original poster) at 2:33 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Don't worry about when he'll be home in the morning...just plan whatever you want to cook and than when you hear him pull up, start cooking (have ingrediants ready in fridge for faster prep) and when he walks in say "breakfast, lunch, etc... will be ready in a minute babe...how was your day...would you like a massage...etc. The more relaxed he is the better chances as I stated before. I know you need the money but wnat time with him, so how about this...try to just have good old fahsioned nasty fun sex, let him hang onto job and slowly put away money for future baby that wya when you concieve, he can start looking for another decent job without pressure of finances or fear of getting crummy job
    Dreamer81484

    Answer by Dreamer81484 at 12:44 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Thats a great idea!! We talked last night and the job he applied for called him back for an interview. We will still be able to afford our home and car and buy the things we NEED. We just wont be able to just go to the store and spend 30 dollars buying little stuff for fun becuz we can. Which i didnt understand that was the only issue and i dont care!! i would rather be tighter on money and be a family together then to do this shit anymore! He works for Panera Distribution ...and they pay good, because they suck!! They work your ass off. So im happy he is moving to something HE will be happier with too!! ITs all gonna work out for everyone!!
    Mommy103110

    Comment by Mommy103110 (original poster) at 8:31 AM on May. 18, 2011

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