Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Should I allow my father to pay for my wedding.

After 6 years and 2 children my fiance and myself have decided to tie the not this June. At first we had both agreed on getting married thru the JP, but I I fell in love with the idea of getting married at this cozy little chapel in downtown. I knew we would not be able to afford that since we are on a very short budget and when I mentioned my dissapointment to my mother, she mentioned it to my father andmy father said he will pay for the chapel. Here is the catch, my dad does not at all like my fiance, because of a falling out they had last year and they have not spoken since and my fiance is not even allowed in my parents house. My dad said he loves me and he is going to pay for the wedding because I am his daughter.

Answer Question
 
styhmMommy

Asked by styhmMommy at 1:31 AM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (694 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would try to patch things up with them, both men are going to be in your life forever and they both love you! Tell them both that you would appreciate it if they were at least civil because neither is going anywhere
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 1:38 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Oh and yes, you should let your father pay for the wedding lol
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 1:38 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Thats a bit hard, how does your fiancee feel about it? Is your father going to go to the wedding? Maybe you should ask them both if there is any chance of reconciling before you get married that way no one is uncomfortable not only on the day but in the future for the rest of your life together.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 1:40 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Me and my fiance were both stunned to hear that my dad offered to pay. WE never would have thought he would even suggest that he pay. My fiance is a bit embarrassed but he'll put aside he's pride to make me happy. I didn't hink my day was gonna go but he said he will be at the wedding he won't miss it he said. But I think I am going to take the advice of the three of us seating down and speaking together.
    styhmMommy

    Comment by styhmMommy (original poster) at 1:49 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • congratulations first of all!
    well, is there any way they could make up? that would mean more to me than my dream wedding
    if i was in this situation, i wouldn't really want my dad paying for it. in fact, im not in this situation and i still wouldnt want my dad to pay for it. i dunno why but things feel better to me when i earn them, but i know how hard life is and obviously weddings are expensive so i totally understand.
    to me the most manly thing is for a man to say "sorry" or "i forgive you" or "to new beginnings"
    try to see if your father and your man can accept this. the sooner the better only because the less time that passes it would seem more like they were just busy. the more time that passes would make it obvious that they don't speak to each other. i hope i havent assumed too much here. just trying to imagine/help w the little info i have. maybe accept some of the money but not all? GL and congrats!
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 2:23 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Your still his baby girl and he wants you to be happy even if he doesnt really like your man!
    lil_momma_vdv

    Answer by lil_momma_vdv at 2:28 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • yes i would let him pay. it's tradition and your dad must be traditional!
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 4:30 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Let him pay for it as long as you know he won't throw it in your face for any reason or have unreasonable expectations otherwise. I wish my parents would help with my wedding! Maybe it's your dads way of saying 'i want you to be happy and I will accept him as a son in law'
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 7:19 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Let him pay, I think it might even help your fiance and his relationship...
    SonyaNaomi

    Answer by SonyaNaomi at 9:45 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • We paid for our own wedding. It was our first and only. It has always meant so much more to us that we paid for everything ourselves.

    However, maybe this is your dad's way of trying to patch things up a bit. Sounds like maybe he is trying to take the first step in a safe and manly kind of way. Seems like he might be conceding that they don't have to like each other to try to get along for your sake. Just saying maybe in convoluted man-logic that this might be what he is doing.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 12:13 PM on May. 17, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN