Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Bad stay at home mom and wife or not know how to do it?

Well i was young mom at the age of 19 was a mother of my now 3year old son Haiden. I am with his father still and married to him.
But before we lived in our house we lived in an apartment and i worked 2 jobs before i became a stay at home mom. WHen our son was born i was working in a day care from 8am until 6pm so we had a babysitter who watched him and my husband would come home at 2pm. so it was just me eating at the daycare for breakfast and lunch and dinner. So my husband would do the dishes, and feed our son. Then i left that job and got a new job. I worked at 4pm until 9pm. so i would be home in the day and i would then have a scehdule on how to clean the house , take care of my son and keep my husband happy. Well i left that job and then decied to be come a stay at home mom. Where then i would do daily house cleaning,and on friday's the major cleaning would be done. It was working out perfect.
Then we moved into our house we are in now. I am still a stay at home mom and now i babysit too. when our son turned 2 and half years old we had our son logan. I didn't clean for 2 weeks after he was home. THen i went back to every friday i would clean, but iwould do the dishes 3 times a day and laundry every other day. Then i stopped that for a while and became sick with a flu which put me at just take care of me and kids and no cleaning. Then i started writing down things that i want to get done that day and stick with it. it was working until i ran out of paper and my husband yelled at me saying don't waste paper over that. So i went back to the every friday routine.
NOw i just got into a TV show on netflix and my cleaning and doing things just took a turn. I told my husband i feel guilty for not cleaning, and letting things go. He said but u need to take time for yourself, and the house is in good condition.
I don't know if i belive him or not, but i feel horrible because it seems like i just got lazy and don't want to clean.
how do u women do it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on May. 17, 2011 in Home & Garden

Answers (27)
  • My house isn't show room perfect.. my house is lived in! There are some toys found in the livingroom, shoes that didn't quite make it to the basket, blankets that never quite made it perfectly on the back of the sofa again and a few dishes that I missed washing that sat in the sink over night. My house isn't messy and a pig sty, just lived in my 2 adults, a preschooler, a toddler and 3 cats.

    I don't sweat the small stuff.. if it is clean enough for me and mine I don't care. We have no health issues with dirty dishes molding or soiled laundry smelling up the house.. our home smells like granny's house (which is actually was until recently) fresh homemade foods, laundry powder and a candle now and then.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 8:52 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I don't. My house is a mess despite by best efforts. I have 4 kids, 7, 5, 3 and 2 months. I was watching other kids before having my son but not since. It can be very crazy and busy having that many little kids around so don't be so hard onyourself. You are trying your best and frankly your best won't matter much if you don't take time for yourself, you may selfdestruct. I find that's the case with me. so don't sweat it if you watch a show, just keep doing things and I bet your husband won't mind helping out if it means you get some you time.
    You sound like a wonderfully commited mother and so long as your family is happy and your house isn't so messy it would be condemned (lol) then let things continue as is.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:54 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • it's hard, but it is so much easier if you stay on top of things, I am a stay at home mom who also babysits. This house is my bussiness, I am crazy about having people over and my house being a mess so having people here everyday bringing there kids makes me stay on top of everything but I have notices if u do alittle everyday, things don't pile up and it's easier. Wash a batch o clothes a day, clean dishes right after u have a meal, do things before they become overwelmeing and take care of things as soon as thereis a problem. It's not hard if things stay manageable. Hope that helped.
    Southernmom_99

    Answer by Southernmom_99 at 8:57 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Its your own style of balance and discipline.

    I'm a SAHM of 2 girls n school. My family, me and my home are taken care of before I do anything else. During the wknds when everyone is home, the same remains true. Now, if I am sick or occasionally in a fit of depression, I will chill out for a day, but I get right back to it. Netflix is on demand, so there isn't any specific start time for that show, you can start it at your convenience. To get back on track, I would suggest doing one room a day. Once that room is done, just keep it clean (go back over it real quick each day). Your oldest son should be picking up after himself, and he should be taught now that when he finishes with something, he cleans it up before he is allowed to go on to the next thing. This will take some of the stress off of you.
    gbrewster

    Answer by gbrewster at 9:00 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I think every Mom thinks that every other mom does it so much better then herself. I am 9 months pregnant and have 4 other kids, some days I'm so tiered I just sit in my big comfy chair and cuddle my toddler, watch TV and read him books. Other days I have more energy and clean the whole house. Do what you can when you can, theirs a big difference between being a little cluttered and dirty
    Bjoycassell

    Answer by Bjoycassell at 9:02 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I've been a sahm for 6 years now and some days the chores are done and some days not...depends on what I feel like doing that day or how bored I am. I'm at the point now where I need to create things to do to keep my sanity...lol. You don't have to do everything all at once though. For me, I'll do a room a day...it saves your back and you don't feel so exhausted at the end of the day! Plus by breaking it up, you'll have more time for the kidos, hubby and yourself. Just make sure you do take time for yourself though...away from hubby, kids and house because being a sahm is a full time+ job, and just like any job you will get burned out if you don't get breaks. Hope you find what works for you.
    ponderous

    Answer by ponderous at 9:07 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • It's okay to take time for yourself, don't stress so much. Just make sure you do a little cleaning and then reward yourself with sitting down and watching your show.
    cleanaturalady

    Answer by cleanaturalady at 9:41 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • What I do is I work in the mornings til 12:30 have lunch and take the rest of the day off. I make the beds mine and the kids. do dishes , then I pick up stuff that is lying around the floor in the kids room And family room. That belong to the kids , and husbands shoes that he leaves everywhere and his tie that he leaves on the coffee table and put everything back where it belongs. then I'll pick 3 rooms to clean. ex. maybe monday I'll clean the kitchen, and the 2 bathrooms. . Tuesday I'll clean the three bedrooms, wednesdays I clean the play room and straighten out the caot closet . And then I do the good strong clean of the whole house once a month. my laundry days are the week-ends again in the mornings So I have all day to do what I want.afterwards.fridays I'll colors Sat I'll do lights, and sun I'll do whites. that way from thursday -sun alls you got to do is wipe off the kitchen counter everytime it needs it.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:50 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I have the kids pick up their stuff in the family room on the week-ends and make their beds and pick up their room if it needs it. ot.saturaday and sundays.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:54 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • It is ok to take some time for yourself. I try to keep a loose schedule (as I also work from home 8hrs a day in addition to house/kids). I do my dishes, and cleaning in the morning, laundry at various times thru out the day (not every day but every few days). And then afternoon/evening is my main work time. I usually fold and sort my clean laundry and pick up in the livingroom while I am watching a favorite tv show or something on dvd. I also am implementing a chore chart for my ,kids- they are old enough to help out and do some of the household chores.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:42 AM on May. 17, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.