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Is this fair?

So all together we have six kids my dh's two sons live with us , my two daughters from my previous marriage live with us, and also we have twin boys together. Its coming up on vacation time. My stepsons mom was never technically given any vacation time by the courts but to try and keep things civil we try to give her the same things my ex gets. He gets 2 NON consecutive weeks vacation during the summer. He however doesn't usually use both but he'll take them to FL for like 10 days. Well i already got his vacation schedule so i know when the girls are going. However the boys "mom" has been very scetchy with her plans almost as if she doesn't really have any (which is fine i mean if she chooses to use her weeks at her moms house since even if she goes away her visits have to be supervised is fine by us) So yesterday in a very plain text i sent her the two weeks of the summer that we will be away. I got no response (not surprising shes always got some kind of drama goin on) I guess im just hoping she doesn't plan on giving me any crap about the days one because shes really NOT entitled to any and two i even made sure that the weeks that we are taking don't interrupt her weekend visitation i.e if we leave on a friday we would be back before the start of "her" weekend. So because i always am fighting off the feeling of suffocation and exhaustion when dealing with her im hoping my arrangments are fair. I mean i didn't have to consult her on what days to take right? I'm not trying to be a bitch and leave her with the scraps so to speak but i have other kids to work around (schedule wise) and she doesn't. If anything this should make it easier for her to narrow down what days to take right? Does this seem fair? If left up to dh he would say she needs to be happy she gets ANYTHING. That's why im the middle man trying to keep things civil.


Asked by Genice6 at 9:20 AM on May. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,450 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • i agree with missanc she either gets what you are offering extra or you go by the original agreement and she gets nothing........i've had lots of dealings with crazy ex and the only way to stop them is not give in to them stand your ground mama.....oh and DH needs to start standing up to her to ...she is his ex not yours.....not fair for you to carry all the stress over it....


    Answer by cara124 at 10:27 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • If it were me I would force your dh to deal with this. Those are his children with his ex and if it is stressing you out so badly then it really is something he needs to deal with.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:26 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I think what you offered her is more than fair considering she's not entitled to any of it in the agreement. I wouldn't worry about it, if she gets upset just go by the original custody arrangement.

    Answer by missanc at 9:31 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Thats what i was thinking missanc to do if she starts getting all crazy and gemgem you are right it just gets soooo ugly when dh does the talking

    Comment by Genice6 (original poster) at 9:45 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • i think what you did was more than fine... relax, if she starts drama, then set dh up to talk to her and deal with it.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:29 AM on May. 17, 2011