Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I feel like such a failure and a bad mother..

my youngest 9 month old baby has been sick latley and hasn't been sleeping much at night. I work all day and have been extremely tired staying up all night with her too. So night before last , my inlaws took her at 3 in the morning so i could get a little sleep before work, and last night they took her about 1 oclock for the night. I feel like a failure as a mother by not being able to take care of my baby. Have you ever had to rely on others for help? We have two others ages 3 and 2 that i am also afraid the baby is going to wake up when she is crying. She wont let me put her down. I have to hold her and walk around with her or she cries. And it just got to the point where i was exhausted and needed to sleep. Being up all night and all day working was getting too me. Is that horrible?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on May. 17, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (17)
  • just be glad you have help..where's the baby's father? is he not getting up/staying up to help, too?

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:34 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • You're not a bad mother. Why don't you make arrangements with your in laws to take the baby all night though? You might get a little more rest at night.

    Answer by MomMom23 at 9:35 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Stop it! Be blessed you have someone to help!!!!! I had to have my parents come and get my 5 year old son one Christmas.....I couldn't even be there when he opened his presents........I felt HORRIBLE!!

    Answer by Dahis at 9:35 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Sending you a big hug momma. I remember when mine were that age and I felt like I would never get past the crying. Honestly your baby needs you to be rested so you can be a good mommy. If that means getting help from other people, there's no shame in that at all!

    Answer by customcat2000 at 9:35 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • No he is staying up too, but he can't do much with the baby. She is a mommas and grandmas girl. But he tries and atleast sits up too. Although i do catch him dozing off. And he can sleep through anything

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:36 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I wanted to add it was because I was sick as a dog!!

    Answer by Dahis at 9:37 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • You are NOT a terrible mother!! You did the right thing asking your in-laws for help. You needed to sleep and your baby is being taken care of by someone you trust. It is nice when family is close by and can help out when needed. My mil, and my parents all live w/in 20 min. of me and I have asked them for help in situations like that too.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:40 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Doing what works for you and what is best for your family does not make you a failure! Recognizing your limits and accepting available help makes you a very good mother!! Being over tired can lead to a lot of issues. Try not to beat yourself up;)

    Answer by bloomsr at 9:41 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Hey, you're working your butt off to provide for your family! You have to get some rest too, otherwise you put yourself at risk of getting sick, or worse, getting in a car accident because you fell asleep at the wheel! We all need a little help sometimes- just be glad you have someone to help you shoulder some of the workload :)

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:54 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Someone offered help and you took it! That doesn't make you a bad mommy. I always felt guilty too. Honestly, especially when you are working, raising kids, and managing a home sometimes you just need a little help! That is perfectly OK!!

    Answer by mrsfitz05 at 9:56 AM on May. 17, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.