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Marrying a confirmed bachelor harms your self-confidence ? Interesting ...

My friend told me that she read an article about what it takes to make a self proclaimed life-long bachelor marry you. I haven't read it - don't care too. But she said that the article said that it takes a very confident woman to land the long term bachelor, but the strange quirk is that while the woman he chooses is a confident woman - marrying him makes her less confident. Supposedly because she realizes that he could have married anyone else at any time, but he waited and meticulously chose her - and that makes her struggle to identify and maintain 'that special quality' that attracted him. (So I guess the premise is that it causes the woman to second guess and constantly reexamine herself to see if she's still worthy of his choice).

I don't think I agree at all - I married a long term bachelor (38, never married, no children) - I find that it's made me more confident both in who I am and his love for me.

The article did say that confirmed bachelors that *do marry - will *usually* marry a woman they've known less than a year. Now that fits us - he proposed within 2 months, we were married within 8 months of meeting.

What do you think? - I think some articles are just written to fill up space and this one seems full of crap.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on May. 17, 2011 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • I agree......it's a space taker.............
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 9:44 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • The article starts from the premise that a confirmed bachelor is more valuable than a marrying man. I think that is bunk. A confirmed bachelor who marries is somebody who didn't know himself as well as he thought. A marrying man loves and appreiciates the value of having a life long mate. In other words a self proclaimed bachelor thinks he doesn't need anybody else. Who want want one of those?
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 9:50 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Oddly put though...a confirmed bachelor doesn't get married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I don't necessarily agree with it. I can see some of the point, but I don't think that's the root of the matter for all relationships as such. My SO is 43 and never married, no children. I'm divorced. He plans to marry me, but has been in numerous relationships, two that were quite close to marriage before ending.

    I don't know, guess it's different for everyone.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 9:54 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • A woman is in charge of her own self-confidence. It really doesn't matter if you marry a guy who was a confirmed bachelor or a guy who wanted to get married all along. YOU are in charge of how you feel about yourself. You have self confidence if you are happy about how you have lived---hapy and satisfied with how educated and honest and emotionally healthy you are,etc. That article is silly.
    minnesotanice

    Answer by minnesotanice at 9:55 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I married a "confirmed bachelor" too - 38 yo, never married, no kids. I have no problem with my confidence level at all. It actually gave me a confidence boost that he wanted to marry me after all the girls that had been after him all these years!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:02 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • Hmm, I always that a "confirmed bachelor" was code for man whore or gay. I woudln't want to marry either one of those.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:03 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • "I think some articles are just written to fill up space and this one seems full of crap. "

    This. Exactly.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:13 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • a man who is like that splits into two categories.. one.. the confirmed bachelor that just hasnt found the right one yet (probably your hubby until you came) or the guy that enjoys other things to much to commit.... those are the ones that sap confidence out of women.. why? because they are bachelors for a reason.. they typically lie, cheat, or are very selfish... hence that sapping of confidence in the woman. this is why the article is wrong, they are looking at the confidence drain yet not the real reasons for it
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:41 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • crap
    SonyaNaomi

    Answer by SonyaNaomi at 10:51 AM on May. 17, 2011

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