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My daugher and her father

My daughter is 13 and she wants to live with her father.. I let her live with him for this year.. I feel that it's not a good place for her to be.. He told me that I have no say in the matter.. That if she wants to live with him, she can.. But he is a drunk.. He has put both my children in harm.. With drinking and driving and then passing out on the bathroom floor.. She is missing 22 days of school and is falling school. But he puts all the blame on me.. I told him that she is coming and going to live with me. He told me that she'll miss 30 days of school. No she won't because I am a stay at home mom.. My question is should I just let her stay and give in to them both or bring her home and now that she will do better.. I did get legal vice and if she wants to live with her father he would have to take me back to court.. I'm don't know what to do..Getting upset with him.. He doesn't do anything.. I do it all...

 
AJMcGuire

Asked by AJMcGuire at 10:37 AM on May. 17, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 9 (328 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • My brother just went through this with his son. I'm surprised the school hasn't intervened based on her attendance. My nephew missed 30+ days of school and the police were called. His mother is also a drunk and even bought him alcohol. Once the police were involved he was taken from his mother and my brother took him home. My brother has primary custody as well, but his son wanted to live with his mom so he gave in and let him go for about a year.
    I have to agree with the other ladies go get your daughter. As you stated its not a good enviroment. Even if it requires a change in school that has to be better then leaving her in her father's custody currently. Good luck.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:34 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • just take her to your house. Let him try & go to court...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:42 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • who has primary custody?
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:40 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • If you have a court order giving you custody and you want her home just go there and get her. Call the police or sheriff in his town and ask for an escort to get her. They will go with you. Get her and go home. Easy Peasy.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:43 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • He has status quo on his side, even though you legally have primary custody, since she's been there for more than 6 months...BUT if you can show her education is slacking, you can fight back if he takes you to Court over it.
    laird6372

    Answer by laird6372 at 10:48 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • The court order still stands. I have been there done that. Just because you allowed him to have her for a time does not mean the court order is nullified. He would have had to go to court and had custody given to him on the grounds you abandoned her in his custody. Which he did not do. He allowed the current order to stand and because he is a drunk probably never looked into what it takes to keep her legally. All you have to do is go up and get her. You can even go to the school, bring the court order, and take her home.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • i am..
    AJMcGuire

    Comment by AJMcGuire (original poster) at 10:41 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • the only thing is she's going to a different school.. That is making it hard for me because i don't want her to fail.. I feel that there is more going on at his house and she won't tell me..
    AJMcGuire

    Comment by AJMcGuire (original poster) at 10:44 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • For goodness' sake, go get her! She's 13, and she's missing school left and right- she should have no say! You have to get her education in order, and may have to put her in summer school. I am also surprised the school hasn't sent a resource officer or dfcs to the home!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:39 AM on May. 17, 2011

  • I would bring her home with me. If he is letting her miss school and let her grades slip, she neeeds to be with you.
    daerca574

    Answer by daerca574 at 11:57 AM on May. 17, 2011

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