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SAHM's: Is this all you will ever be?

Was talking to DH the other day and a comment he made (I don't remember exactly what it was) gave me the impression that he never expects me to go back to school or work...sometimes I'll be talking about what I want to do with my life once I'm no longer needed at home (when we first started talking about me staying home we agreed that I would be SAHM until the youngest is in the 3rd grade) but everytime I bring it up...he kind of shoots me down....

I don't know exactly how to explain I'll say..."maybe I'll try to find a job doing x,y and z" and his response will be "Do you know how many years of school you have to go through to do that?" or I'll just be thinking out loud and say something about how it would be fun to work at _____" and he'll say "with the money you'll make doing that, you might as well stay home"

Is it starting to sound like he's against me working at all period??? I mean I know I still have several years to even worry about it but...I mean I know he's a little old fashioned but we DID agree that eventually I would be going back to work.... you ever plan on going back to work? and if so....when?


Asked by Lucky209 at 2:04 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Just for Fun

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • the last time i mentioned going back to the salon, because i'm so bored at home, my dh said, ''all you'd be working for would be to pay our taxes..if you went to work, making what you did before (last may '10), we'd be in a much higher tax bracket.''
    that's all he cares about most of the time, is making money. i mean, don't get me wrong, i'm glad he has a great-paying job and i don't have to work (my choice), but dang..gimme a little something more to lean on, mister!

    Answer by dullscissors at 2:19 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yes that was the plan. I was supposed to go back this year. My dh now doesnt want me to. Our dd is 6 and I figure thats old enough for me to go back to work. The other kids are 11 and 17, and two are out of the home 19 and 21. It isnt like I NEED to be home. He says I should stay home because he doesnt trust anyone but me with our dd. I am still looking for a job though. I have applications all over and when I do get one Ill be going back to work. He is my husband not my father.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:07 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I don't plan on going back to work. I have 2 degrees and could get a job fairly easily (I've been offered 2 in the past year), but I feel kids need their parents even more as they get older instead of less. My mom has always been and still is a SAHM and I love that she can help out with the kids during the day.

    Answer by missanc at 2:09 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I am extremely lucky. DH and I are planning a business together. It's something that I can do from an at home office, that way I can be there if the kids need me (have one with medical issues) without me losing a day or 3 from my pay. He will keep his regular job until we get the whole thing established. But we are extremely supportive of each other and do work well with each other.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:08 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • my dh does me that same way..I was only supposed to stay home until his dd got better in school and got over some issues she was having..she was in second grade then now shes in the 8th..and i have a baby of my own..I personally dont care if i ever work previous job was way to stressful and i like being at home. and my dh add that if i work i wouldnt even make enough money to pay daycare so why bother

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 2:08 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yes, it does sound as if he's against you working. And you need to tell him that one does NOT work just for the money, if they've picked the right career!

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:09 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Its beneficial for me to work being a single mom but they way he seems to act makes me think he doesn't want you to work at all. He may seen "old fashion" but it sounds kind of pig headed, like he'll lose some masculinity if you work, or even think about working. I would sit down and have a real discussion about this. Even if you don't have a "game plan" on what you want to do for a living you should educate yourself as much as you can. It's important as a stay at home mom or any mom in general to have knowledge, you need to set a good example for your kids to be self efficient and to not rely on someone their whole life. Discuss this with him and try to find out the underlying problem he has about you working or going to school. good luck.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 2:10 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I don't plan on going back to work. But I don't see working as the only way to have success, feel that I'm contributing to society and feel fulfilled. It's not an "all I will ever be" thing for me.


    Answer by SuperChicken at 2:30 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I will be going back to work once the kids are all in school. If dh does not like the idea I will kindly suggest he pull his head out of his butt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • No way! I love my kids to death but as soon as they are both in school I will be back to working again!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 2:30 PM on May. 17, 2011