Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do I not deserve the term "mother"?

Several weeks ago I had a post in the politics section about elective c-section, that I ended up deleting because of a comment I thought was wrong. I chose to have an elective c-section because I was paranoid about my baby becoming brain damaged if the cord wrapped around the neck, forceps injury, etc. I told my dr my concern and he suggested a c-section so I went with his advice and now have a healthy baby girl. I found out that like 70% of OB's have elective c-sections because they think its safer and don't want their pelvic floor to be damaged.

Well someone on cafemon in that post said I don't deserve the term "mother", and that I am no better than someone who chooses to abort the baby and some other stuff too...... because I had en elective c-section.

What do you think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (18)
  • maybe they misunderstood the question???
    anyway, how rude of them...they must of had a bad day and took it out on everyone else, im sure your not the only one they bashed.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 5:56 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Well, in my opinion you deserve the term mother regardless how you gave birth. What about those who adopt a child; aren't they parents mothers/fathers? In the end you have to do what is best for you and your child and not worry about everyone else's opinion.

    MichieLee74

    Answer by MichieLee74 at 5:58 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I think that whoever said that is nuts. I do have issues with so many elective c/s being done. Really the risks to mom and baby are higher with a c/s than with a vaginal birth (in a normal pregnancy). I've had both vaginal and c/s births and, aside from the recovery time, I was the same mom to all three of my sons. Too much emphasis is put on how the baby is born and what baby is fed. You carried that baby for the same 9 months everyone else did, you may have bf'd your baby - and if you didn't who cares. Don't let some whack job get to you. Your baby knows YOU are mommy, no one else, just you.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 6:00 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I don't agree with that trem. But natural delivery is going to be a better bet in most cases. I had 4 kids and all mine had the cord around the neck. My 2nd even had it twice. I think that the cord around the neck is very common.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I aggree with pp that was very rude.
    annmarieb25

    Answer by annmarieb25 at 6:03 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Thats BS!!! I hate mom's like that! They think they are so great b/c they had natural childbirths and breastfeed and this and that. Dont let anyone tell you that you shouldnt be considered a mom! Conceiving, birthing, feeding and raising a baby is up to the MOTHER and NO ONE else! I think its a little too much if you;re really gonna take that sh** to heart. Its not worth it and def needs to be ignored. Who are they??? Good luck with your healthy baby girl!!!!
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Hmm..by that persons response I wouldn't a mother after having three sons via section. Hmmm..neither would my sister who adopted twin boys who were eight days old....Being a mother has NOTHING to do with bodily functions. It's who gets up bleary eyed to cook, clean, care for eveyone and takes care of herself when she gets a minute. A mother holds a screaming nine yr old that is getting stitches, watching a fevered child all night, holding a 16 yr old who has his heart stomped on the first time. THAT is what makes yuou a mother!
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • The rude post was uncalled for.

    Some people are just idiots.

    Your body, your child, your choice.

    I'm glad your baby is healthy!
    mwebb

    Answer by mwebb at 6:16 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • That is very mean of them. If you love and take care of your children than you are their mother. It doesn't matter where they came from.

    Anon 6:01- my baby had her's wrapped around her neck too. It scared the crap out of me. I thought it was a really big deal, but the doctor didn't seem like it was that big of a thing. The only thing different is SO didn't get to cut the cord first.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 6:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • In all honesty, I think you are a dumb*** for listening to strangers on the internet. You have a child, do you not? Whom you care for daily and love and protect and provide for? That meets the requirements for mother. Why do you care about what strangers on a computer think of you? Yes, that's harsh...but really, it's time for moms to stop worrying about how everyone sees them, you can't make everyone happy all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.