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I love her but my goodness.....enough already!

My sister always makes the same mistakes with men and gets hurt SO deeply. I hate seeing her in pain and love her so much but it does take a toll on me even just hearing about it. She just keeps bashing her head into the wall over and over again. She has zero self esteem and always puts herself in bad situations with bad people and I am always honest with her but I know she'll just do it again and again. How the heck do I cope with this. I am trying not to be judgemental but she is 40 years old. I guess she will never ever learn? I think all of this stems from a nonexistant relationship with her father and years of our mother telling us our dads don't give a crap. How to help her heal?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Until she works on her self esteem she'll continue to date men that treat her badly simply because she believes she doesn't deserve better of lacks the confidence to find someone better. Perhaps suggest she go to a counselor to work on feeling better about herself.

    Answer by anon1986East at 3:52 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • You are right anon and alas, I have told her that already. To no avail. She has gone to counseling but doesn't take the advice. SHe is the MOST stubborn woman I have ever ever met.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:56 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yes, that can be exhausting. I'm sure, and hard to see her fail all the time. I had a friend like that and her repetitiveness made her a glutton for her own punishment really, couldn't be without a man, any man she would cling too, sad, low self esteem for sure & that's hard to break when her character is like that.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 4:39 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yeah, she needs to get into counseling to figure out why she pics the guys she does, really based on self esteem.....GL to her

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 5:16 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • There's nothing you can do but love her. She's 40 years old and in all this time, if she hasn't realized that she's bumping her head up against a brick wall, nine times out of ten, she never will. She has to be the one to open her eyes and see what's in front of her but she chooses not too and to be honest with you, if she's allowing the negativity of not having her dad around to still affect her after all these years, she's to blame and not your mom...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:18 PM on May. 17, 2011

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