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3 Bumps

Living with people: Do you agree with this?

My mom always told me when you live with someone you basically have to become "submissive" to them. Not in any sexual way she meant in you have to do what they say, you really have no voice, you sit in your corner and be quiet. A guy pal said that you are a strain on the person that is housing you so best you be meek as possible.

Do you agree with this???

Answer Question
 
Jazmineamomma

Asked by Jazmineamomma at 4:00 PM on May. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,231 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Yep. My kids have come home to live with me and I was supporting them along with my husband. They knew better then to start any BS with me because it was my home I graciously opened to them after they had grown up and left. I not only took them in, but their SO's and in my dds case her little kids too. I think there should obviously be mutual respect, however my dd knew not to come start any crazy nonsense with me. I do things how I do them, and I always figured if she didnt like it she could find her own place, and she did.

    Now if that is submissive? I dont know. I call it respect.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:03 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • i guess it just depends. If they are paying all the bills, and for all the food, then it's their place and you would need to follow the house rules. But if you are spliting costs, then the best thing to do is sit down and make an agreement before you even move in, on who does what chores, how much money everyone is paying, and any other little detail. just to keep the peace. have it all in writing.
    nybor48

    Answer by nybor48 at 4:05 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • My first thought was roommates in college, and I was thinking no way! But you are refferring to when one person has a house, and someone else moves in with them.

    Yes, submissive is a good word.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 4:06 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yes, if you are living in someone else's home you should be respectful and follow their rules.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 4:06 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • and that is what I hated about living with people/ I do not mind cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, the common areas, but I am not going to go further than that. I know one gal wanted me to watch her kids so her and her husband could have a night out. I don;t like watching kids at all. I hated cause I was there i was on there beck and call but if I needed some Heaven forbid it. I can be nice (respectful) but I am not about to bend over backwards for anyone. I can do my part and that is it.
    Jazmineamomma

    Comment by Jazmineamomma (original poster) at 4:09 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • yeah having it in writing is always good...I am refering to when one person moves into another persons home and pays rent.
    Jazmineamomma

    Comment by Jazmineamomma (original poster) at 4:10 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yes, I have lived with someone else and that was expected of me, and I did because I felt awkward messing with their stuff. I have also had people living with me and I hated it.
    booger14

    Answer by booger14 at 4:24 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yes, in a sence. I think you need to be respectful, follow their rules, however that doesn't mean that you are required to be a door mat or to never speak your mind. Just do so in a respectful and tactful way.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 4:36 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yeah the last few people were jealous of me and not respectful of me having my own opinion. So it was bad. I can see how having someone stay with you be hard but as adult a person can sit and talk about what is wrong and or help encourage the person with getting there stuff together to get out faster. You know be a helpful shove in the right direction lol
    Jazmineamomma

    Comment by Jazmineamomma (original poster) at 5:14 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Submissive - no. Helpful yes. My feelings "the person who pays he bills makes the rules."
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:07 PM on May. 17, 2011

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