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Should I stay or not?

Here is my situation. Me and my fiance have a 15 month old and currently live together. we argue a lot and it may be small arguements but they are almost everyday. He yells at me and cusses when we argue after i told him not to. Everytime we fight he blames me even when it isn't my fault. The other side is that we do have fun together and I love him. Also, I feel stuck. I have no place to go, no money (Im SAHM) and I would be so embarrassed telling people and our son deserves both parents. We have been together for about 3 years now. And have been engaged for a year and we have no plans for a wedding because there is no money! I just dont want to make the wrong decision. I just dont know what to do. Someone help me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Do you think it would work if the two of us just lived together in seperate rooms?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I am in the exact situation. Msg me if you need advice and send some more detailed ?'s
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:20 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Here's the question you need to ask yourself.

    If your DAUGHTER came to you with this situation, what would you tell her?

    That's what you do for yourself. Always model the behavior you want your children to follow.

    Now, if you were MY daughter, I'd tell you to GET OUT and DO NOT look back. I'd tell you that it's more embarassing to be a doormat than to stand up for yourself.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:29 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Its not that I dont stand up for myself. Because i do stand up for myself. Its just it obviously isnt getting in his head! I dont know.Thank you both. And Steph319 I will probably be messaging you since it seems we both are going thru this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • this is what helped me . I wrote a list of the types of things hubby and I argued about ,and I wrote down the things that annoy me about him when we argue .now this is the tricky bit , I sat my hubby down and showed him the list and asked him what was his perspective of what happened when we rowed and his perception was soo different then mine eg, I said he used to tell me what to do when I was doing the cleaning ,he saw it that he was just advising me on how to get the job done quicker. when he would ignore me and walk out the room in the middle of a row,... he saw it ,he was giving me space so that we could both calm down . so basically it was lack of communication and understanding each other . relationships are a team effort and compromisation and communication I have learned ,since then I have put this back into my life ,we are getting on better than ever now

    loulou332

    Answer by loulou332 at 7:23 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Your arguing is not just impacting you both, it also impacting your child. And don't kid yourself by thinking she is too young. They know and hear more than you wish they did.

    Either get counseling or move on. Find a family member or friend that can support you until you can get on your feet. But staying while the fighting continues is not good.

    Fix it or fly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • We never argue in front of our child ever! in front of our child we are always lovey dovey.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • So be completely honest with yourself; do you think an eventual split is inevitable? Because if so, the older your kid gets the harder it's going to be. My parents are divorced, but they waited until we were older to do it. There was no love there for at least 10 years, and I wish so much that they would have done it sooner. Both for us AND for them. HAPPY PARENTS ARE BETTER PARENTS. Plus, think about how much happier YOU could be.
    Do you have family you can stay with until you get back on your feet?
    esr

    Answer by esr at 2:33 AM on Dec. 7, 2008

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