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How do I make my daughter appreciate things?

My daughter will be 8 in March, and she doesn't seem to appreciate what we do for her. We are not poor, yet not rich by any means. Yes I do try to get her things often when I often go yardsaling and goodwill shopping, but mostly i bring her back clothes. We very rarely buy things like toys or games outside of Christmas time and birthdays. Because we have many behavior issues with her, she usually has to earn thing, which happens very seldom.

I would think this would make her quite the opposite, yet I am doing something wrong apparently. i have always worked extremely hard for all I have gotten in life and have tried to give her and wish to place these same good qaulities in her.

What confuses me though, some days she thinks money grows on tree, and others she thinks we are poor and have nothing!? i dont understand.

All thoughts and suggestions to this debate are very welcome, Thanx!! :)

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Asked by dloh307 at 6:18 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (3)
  • Take her to soup kitchens and childrens hopsitals. Let her see how good she has it and let her find it in herself to want to help others. She's gonna have to see it to beleive it. GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:32 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • She's a kid, and unfortunately, then tend to take things for granted and not be grateful and appreciative of it. I agree with Steph319, taking her to places where the people clearly have less than she does. Show her that there are children who are sick, children who are homeless, and would love to just have a home, much less the clothing, toys, etc. that she has. My sons do the same thing, and we live right near a food pantry, so I take them up there and let them see some of the families that come there, with babies on their hips and practically in tears b/c they're just so glad to get some food that they didn't have to skip paying the power bill to get. It gets my kids to be a bit more grateful for a week or two.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:21 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • So she goes from side to the other and is especially greedy right now (its x-mas-- shrug) it sounds pretty normal to me.
    What is more concerning is the part where you said she has to earn things but rarely does b/c of her behavior.
    I'd take a look at that part of her behavioral contract and tweak it b/c although what you are asking her to do seems reasonable to you it seems as it is somehow out of her reach so you may want to relook and tweak what she needs to do to earn it and/or her reminders etc.
    Also have you thought about an allowance and/or "pay chores" that she earns actual money for. m I just got my kids (3 and 5) a new piggy bank that has 4 slots (spend, save, charity, invest) so they will hopefully learn how to manage their money better than I. And maybe she could give the charity in person???

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 7:21 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

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