Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Thinking about becoming a foster mom...

I was wondering what I need to do, what happens during the process, and how long it takes before I am able to recieve a child? Will I be able to choose the gender and age of the child? I have girls so I would like to get at least two girls around their age but its not a necessity that they be both girls cause I would like a son. If I do get a boy he would have to be so much younger than my girls though. I know its a big responsibility but I really would like to help a child who doesnt have a stable environmet.

Answer Question

Asked by kina803 at 5:58 PM on May. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 11 (503 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • i don't know everything, as i haven't 'finished' going through the fostering-hoops, but i do know you will be required to take fostering classes, etc. the state requires it. (at least ARK does.) you can look up your state's DHS website, and there should be a link to find out more info on this. i think its great that you want to do this, but you need to realize, its not a piece of cake.
    its quite honorable to be willing to 'parent' a child or children who need it temporarily..sometimes, its just a night or two, due to emergency situations. it could be months, you never know.
    do your homework, and you should be able to know full well whether this is something your family can do.

    Answer by dullscissors at 6:06 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • My family used to do foster care. You have to be very careful and look at each case carefully before you accept a child. Not all these kids are simply abandoned. Some have been sexually/physically/verbally abused and Children and Youth aren't good AT ALL with getting help for these kids. The kids we got with these problems were getting no counseling or therapy, were constantly being told they could go home soon then not getting to go home which messed with there heads badly and they would often be suicidal, violent towards us when our parents weren't looking or even tried to repeat what had been done to them (i.e. the sexual abuse). Even with the little kids you can get ones that are out of control. We once got a two year old who had been in the system since he was born and had lead poisoning that wasn't diagnosed until my mom bothered C&Y to take him to the doctor and he would bang his head off the walls and rub his poop on-

    Answer by MamaStuart at 6:09 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • -the walls when he was in his crib, which is a sign of sexual abuse. There may be gaps of a few months between kids. You will be able to accept or reject each case they approach you with and you can make them aware of your preference. If anything, I would suggest taking infants or kids under one year of age if your kids are under seven. Seven and up, start taking toddlers and ten and up for kids older than that. Wanting to help is a good thing, just make sure you put your own kid's first.

    Answer by MamaStuart at 6:13 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Thank you Mama Stuart, I will take my time and look at each child by case. I also know that every child deserves a chance and my girls are grade schoolers and they tell everything so if something isnt right i would know right away. I know these kids have been through something and I cant save them I can only try and better the childhood that they have left. Its sad how people treat their own kids, I mean flesh and blood, they cant even care for themselves some people are just beyond sick to even touch a baby in that way. I would never harm my kids ugh just the thought of it. I dont see what they get from it.


    Comment by kina803 (original poster) at 6:42 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • So many children need loving kind caring foster parents.

    Answer by meooma at 7:58 PM on May. 17, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.