Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Explaining Creamation to a child

How do you explain to a child ,8 and 5..also a 24yr old with disabilities that has lost 2 pepole and a dog in 1 month,all creamated, wondering where they are and why we didnt burry them.

Answer Question

Asked by n252911 at 6:55 PM on May. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • We dont explain those things to my kids until they are older. They dont go to funerals or memorials. My older kids once they were old enough to start asking I just told them when we die we go to heaven. We leave behind our body. We can either bury it and get a headstone in a cemetery or we can choose to be cremated which is burning the body to ash like you see when we have a fire going in a fireplace. I would just try to really emphasize the fact the body is just the "house" of the person, and just like any house if the house falls down we get up and go somewhere else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • In my opinion, I wouldn't. I am 36 yrs old and my mom was cremated when she died last October. The funeral costs were expensive starting @$12,000!! I continued to have nightmares for a long time about her not being dead the doctors made a mistake and then she was cremated and I was hearing her screams. I can't imagine an 8 yr old dealing with that. My niece is 10 and she didn't deal with it well at all. So i would find some other way to explain what happened, even if it means u lie to them. I am not a great fan of that, but I think its nessary in this case.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 7:02 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Is it that hard to explain that their bodies were burned into ashes?

    Answer by SWasson at 7:03 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I wouldn't explain the way the bodies were taken care of to any of them. I'd stick with the religious/spiritual aspect of it all

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:07 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Thank you all for your input, But I'm talking about 3 that have delt with death and been to funerals...They dont understand why we are not burrying them. They are so confussed..

    Comment by n252911 (original poster) at 7:16 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • @ SWasson....YES

    Comment by n252911 (original poster) at 7:19 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • ok, this is a religious aspect.. I am Hindu and we creamte...we also believe in reincarnation and that our bodies are simply a "dress" for an ertenally living soul. My kids have been taught from birth that when a soul moves on that they "quit their body" and get a new one...we have to dispose of the old body just as we would worn out pants or shoes, you can bury it or burn it. It doesnt really matter which because the soul, the aspects of that person we love and miss are not in the body anymore so we dont place attachment to the body. I am not sure if this helps you, but even my Christian friends have now started explaining to their children the concept of quitting the body as opposed to dying. That way they dont feel that everything had ended and it is not so much to take if they feel that their loved one is still alive, just not in that body anymore.

    Answer by shivasgirl at 7:22 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • @shivasgirl, TY,I agree with alot of that...But we are talking about children that havent been taught or told those things..

    Comment by n252911 (original poster) at 7:33 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I didn't have any issues. My mom was cremated (before my kids were born) but I explained what it was and that I planned to be cremated when I died. They are 10, 9, 8 and 5 and they already know what it means. My dad probably said more about it since my mom's ashes are in a box in his room and the kids have asked what they are and about his necklace he wears. He has a teardrop shaped pendant that has some of my mom's ashes in it (I used to have one, too, but it got lost in a move).
    We're not religious. They've been to funerals and understand death is the end of the body.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:36 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • This is just soooo confusing and complicated .

    Comment by n252911 (original poster) at 7:44 PM on May. 17, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.