Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Next Question, Please »
Answers / Parenting / Tweens (9-12)
1 Bump

How do I get him to behave in school

He tents to have a foul mouth at school he fights and doesnt do classwork. I dont know how to fix these problems I know that I have to watch my language around him but he is 10 and he has already been subjected to this (I'm his stepmother and I have been around for almost 2 years) He is usally great but he has some problems I am unsure if he wants to be like his father whom wasnt a star pupil but we explain to him that that has gotten his father no where and will lead him down the same path, he doesnt seem to care He has spoken to my broher who is in prison and he told him where he will end up if he keeps it up but still nothing He wont read (he hates it) and he wont write we try making him do it ive even tried making it fun but he fights to the death to get what he wants What doI do I'm at witts end

Answer Question
 
Myiesta

Asked by Myiesta at 8:31 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (8)

  • Take away whatever his privileges are away, TV, Games, Friends, Whatever once he does what he needs to do he can do what he wants to do.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 8:33 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I don't know if this will help at all but we had our son write in his notebook everyday what the homework was or the words 'no homework'. He then had to stop at the teacher's desk after class and they signed it. Then I could see every night what was expected and I saw to it that any work got done. He hated it at first but then actually liked the relationship he started to have with the teachers. Talk to the teachers about it beforehand. And I agree that all privileges get taken away until what has to get done is finished. GL
    whitepeppers

    Answer by whitepeppers at 8:38 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Ive tried taking things away when he gets off punishment he does it agian. His homework plan at school is similer but he never turns it in to me or "loses it" ive sat with him in class ive even gathered his homework for him but we still have these problems and at school he refuses to do anything sometimes his notebooks are empty and the year is almost over. I am going to try different stragities next year but I dont want these same problems maybe I should be a part of pta and maybe volunteer at his school to let him know im there watching him
    Myiesta

    Comment by Myiesta (original poster) at 8:47 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • try a rewards program.. get an a on this test and do all your homework for the week, and you'll get 10 dollars... or something he likes. No offense but punishment like that is obviously not working, and showing him dad's track record may have made it worse.. (dad in a 10 year olds eyes is doing FINE for himself NOW, so the same will likely happen to him.. when in reality we KNOW better as parents).

    SO like I said, rather than punishing, try rewards...
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:52 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I'm not meaning literally showing him dads history, just meaning that obviously he was told about how now so good his father was in high school (as you mentioned).. and he sees it as, well dad's fine now, so who cares.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 9:55 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Also talk to the school counselors to get him some help. There are resources to help him
    whitepeppers

    Answer by whitepeppers at 4:24 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I would do a few things, one is taking away all priveledges as you have done and not giving them back. You can let him know that until he can prove he is ready to be responsible, respectful and trusted he is not ready or mature enough to have those things. I'm not saying everything but things like spending the night with friends, or going to a friends house, or being on the computer or playing video games. Bedtime should be early and I would tell him its because he isn't mature enough to stay up later. I would also reward him for good behavior and praise him when he does start to turn around so he can see that you do care and you do notice the good things. I would talk to the school counselor to get him some help, it sounds like something is going on with him emotionally for him to act out this way. I think the continued talks about his future is important too, telling him school is a priority that effects his future. GL
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:41 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • bump
    sherribeare

    Answer by sherribeare at 11:48 AM on May. 18, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
Answers / Parenting / Tweens (9-12)