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Marital issues.. adult content

So, my husband has been watching porn despite the fact that he knows it bothers me. We went through a huge argument about it when I was pg with my DS, and he stopped for a while but now that I'm pg again he has started looking at it again. I've asked him about, but he denies it. I told him I saw it on his computer, and he yells at me for being nosy and still denies it. And it's always of girls that look young with small, perky boobs. Not mainstream porn with women like Jenna Jameson or other big porn names.
It really bothers me, but he just doesn't seem to care. We haven't been having sex much because this baby is on top of a nerve that cause my back to hurt REALLY bad all the time..like almost labor pain kind of hurt, so I can understand his need to masturbate sometimes, but he has pictures of me he could look at.
I just don't know what to do anymore.. I have talked to him about it but it's not working. I'm not an ugly person, but he makes me feel like it by watching this. What's worse is I can't make him tell me the truth about it.
Any advice? I've tried just accepting the fact that he's going to watch it, but I can't. I'm insecure as it is, and him looking at other girls with flat stomachs and perky boobs does not help.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Grrr! I know how you feel. Ihad this same problem with my ex. It's hard to get support. A lot of women think porn is totally fine. There is a website called men against porn. Check it out it has ideas on how to talk to your man and how to deal with this issue. The biggest thing you need to understand is that it has NOTHING to do with you. The biggest thing he needs to understand is how it makes you feel and how it is going to interfere with your relationship and intimacy. Don't ignore this issue, go to counseling if you need to. God bless, I hope it gets better soon!
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 8:54 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Idk, that's a tough one. And I know there are a lot of girls on CM that think its no big deal but I am with u. Me and my man have an understanding that we won't do that. I wish I could help. Good luck and stick to your guns.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:55 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Your husband looking at porn has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! I wouldn't take it personal. Maybe watch porn with him, and give him a handjob, since you're not up to it! Fighting over this will get you nowhere.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 8:55 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • have u ever watched that movie called fire proof this kinda reminds me of that anyway this is something that i would seek professional or Godly help with. The fact that he acts so aggressively bout it, would worry me. not many woman like to or do this but when i can perform or dont want to go through all that I find other ways to help him relieve his tension dont know how to say it with out being too graphic but oral would help
    mom2-6mineNhis

    Answer by mom2-6mineNhis at 8:59 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I think its sick that there are women on here that think its okay and that you should watch with him. That is disgusting. I am totally with you.. I told my hubby he had 4 sisters, he has a wife, he needs to have respect. Single men, fine, not married ones!!! Good luck)))
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 9:05 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • OP, you can't change your husband, you can only change yourself. When you react differently, so will he.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 9:05 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Gutterflower, I couldn't disagree with your more! Marriage is about making each other happy. Have you ever heard of the forbidden fruit? The more you say "NO", the more desirable it becomes.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 9:08 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • After finding my first stretch mark, having been told we need to move in a month, and not being up for sex, I walked in on him watching porn with a blond girl (uh, I'm not blond and maybe this is TMI, but he and I have videos pre-preg, he doesn't NEED other women). After that I cried in the bathroom and he was all, "You know I'd rather have you, blahblahblah" and I was like "OH REALLY?!"
    Anyway, I think what benefited us was doing things together; my hubby reads to me (I'm dyslexic so reading and I are kinda on iffy terms sometimes), we do puzzles. It might not be what he wants, but we stay close, and we fight less. Maybe get a puzzle so you two can discuss things while your hands take your mind off of the negativity. Most of our (dh+mine) biggest fights were avoided because of a puzzle we had, you could say it helped us keep our cool and listen to the other's side. I know men have needs, but if he has pics of you, wtf?
    M.Galvan

    Answer by M.Galvan at 9:15 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • my man dont care how it makes me feel. I hate it..i put all the porn in the trash and locked the computer up..I told him he has me so he should not need to "get off" to other females. antell him how you feel again and so i can understand where your comingg from
    ashes27165

    Answer by ashes27165 at 9:49 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • ashes, has your actions made your relationship better?
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 10:03 PM on May. 17, 2011

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