Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Help Please!!!

I'm 7 months pregnant and have been dealing with issues with my SO the entire pregnancy. I spend a lot of time alone and by myself because he is always out with his friends. He would rather do things with them and not spend time with me. He sees that it hurts me and still does the same things. Part of me gets so frustrated because I understand he wants his freedom but at the same time, I spend the majority of my time either at work or sitting home alone, its depressing. He never wants to include me in things he does. He can easily make plans with his friends but then can't find anything to do with me.

Answer Question
 
lyndsey1788

Asked by lyndsey1788 at 9:30 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (253 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I hate to tell you but it gets much worse when you have a baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Yea I figured that. Thats great. I can't wait.
    lyndsey1788

    Comment by lyndsey1788 (original poster) at 9:37 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • i agree with the first answer...put ur food down, cause as long as you let him do this he will,
    ashes27165

    Answer by ashes27165 at 9:39 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Sounds like it isnt going 2 work much longer, i would tell u to tell him how u feel, and try 2 work things out, but seems like u have and he isnt listning 2 u. that is a sign that he is going a separate way, and i wont call him a deadbeat dad, but he seems 2 fit the profile. I would give him an ultimatum, tell him that he needs 2 prove to u that he will b there for u and the baby or u will find someone who will, u will need help, and looks like he might not b enough if he isnt ever around.
    sarahlu

    Answer by sarahlu at 9:39 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Some times it does not work out.. I learned that with my first child, I had to let go of the father and pay more attention to myself and my child. My child I learned late was he needed me more than his dad. I was always worried about his father, I did not spend enough time or I was frustrated and didn't have the strength to care for him as he should of been. This is where you draw the line for yourself, Is he more important than you and your baby. Just remember you are a beautiful person and so is the baby coming into this world. And if your man can not see that, he is not worthy of you and your child. Remember that god has a path for you and your baby. Pray and follow god and your heart. I was always looking for a man to make me happy. I finally realized if I needed a hug, kiss, a love you, I could get it from my kids. Unconditional Love. Take Care. Carol Jean
    CarolJean65

    Answer by CarolJean65 at 9:49 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I have to agree with anon...selfishness does not go away with the birth of a child for men the way it does for women. I would be putting him on notice now that if he thinks he is going to be gone all the time after the baby is born, and that if he can't learn to act as if he is part of a family, that it will be over.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:55 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I couldn't of said it better myself - CarolJean65 :)
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 10:24 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I think u should tell him 2 grow up if he doesnt say goodbye!
    Heather021287

    Answer by Heather021287 at 1:02 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I really feel for you i know how much it sucks to alone while your pregnant and emotional. I was alone for about the first five months of my pregnancy under a lot of stress. I know it is hard but you just have to focus all your attention on you and that baby that is in your belly. Everything you feel your baby is feeling to. And if your boyfriend or hubby not sure which cant spend time with you and take care of you and your feelings then he really does not deserve you or the beautiful gift of a child. Try and seperate yourself from him ( i know this is hard you have his child).. im sorry and hope things get better for you I wish you luck. Hang on girl you will get thru it, this will only make you a stronger person.
    Chow77

    Answer by Chow77 at 1:42 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • See, men are just selfish by nature. And they don't know how to cherish women! I had this going on from the beginning of our marriage. I let him have plenty of space to do his own thing, thinking I was a good wife. He always made time for friends and anyone who needed him, while I'm raising our children and doing all the chores, etc, trying to make a good home. He loves me and the kids, I know that. But, he didn't understand he needed to be with me more, being one with me. Until recently. My good wife skills backfired on me. He had too much space, got into porn and flirting with other women, and we have a whole new slew of problems to add to our relationship. Now he gets it.
    IMO, you need to let him know that what you need is a partner to be with you and help you physically as well as emotionally. Come up with an agreement you both can live with and make him stick with it. He needs to cherish you or pack his bags!
    Tubbamama

    Answer by Tubbamama at 3:49 AM on May. 21, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN