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So hurt over losing my best friend ( how could someone really act that way ? Would you honestly do this too ?)

Not to long ago my husband and I bought our first home... It is an older house but has been sort of updated ( it was an ugly house but all of the "bones" , electrical, etc had been fixed) and we had do much fun fixing it up and making it cute.

Another good point of the house was the walk out basement was set up as a 2 bedroom apt. -- a little kitchen and living room, bathroom, and 2 bedrooms... We never planned on using it as a rental but we also painted it and made it cute because we figured it would be nice for my inlaws to come visit or I actually planned on using it for my grandparents when it came time for me to take care of them...

About 2 months after we moved in my best friend was having alot of problems with her "fiance" ( and the father of her 2 boys) ... she wanted to leave because she felt he was controlling but she felt stuck since she didnt want to take the boys to her moms house to live ( her mom is a drunk ) ... Of course I offered her to come stay in the basment...Her and I even made it nicer by painting one of the rooms for the boys ( before we just painted all of the rooms a light tan - but then we painted the boys room blue and put up CARS border and such) , and went and bought some cheap furniture and overall it was pretty cute ( she actually said it was the nicest place she has lived) ......

Anyways after a few weeks, I think we both started annoying each other ( probably because we were both use to our own homes and now we were basically blending 2 families..) ... and then my husband started to get annoyed and told me " for someone who doesnt have to pay rent she is sure acting like she is owed something) -- referring to her basically complaining about every little thing ( like she wanted him to come home from work to fix one of the backsplash tiles that came loose) ...

We stopped hanging out as much and we both started going to family or friends houses during the day to basically avoid each other ... ( before that we would cook dinner together and still take walks and go to the park pretty much everyday) ...

Then the final straw came.... We had a severe storms , it rained constantly for days everywhere was flooded -- including the basement...

It wasnt fully flooded... it was the kitchen and living room ( they are on the same side) and they had about 4-6 inches of water... so the rugs, the couch ( that we bought) , and a couple things that she had laying on the floor in the living room....

During this time she was already talking of leaving, because her and her "fiance" had "worked things out" ... she moved back into their house and we didnt really speak for a couple of weeks...

and that is when she called to inform me that she wanted money for the things she lost in the flood... I was shocked and was like " Uh WHAT " ... she went on to say that she assumed we would get money from our insurance and that she deserved some of that money because she had things ruined...

I said no we didnt even turn it into the insurance we jsut had someone come clean it up ( it only cost $200) ... and I found some clothes of hers that was ruined ( what was left on the floor) and since they were "yucky" I just threw them away ( i also threw away the rugs and the couch because I was afraid of mold....

She got mad and hung up on me.... a few days later she called again and said she has "consulted with the law" and will be taking me to court to get the damages if i dont pay her...

My husband then made out a $50 check and took it to her... she called ( again) and said no her stuff was easily worth over $300 ....

I KNOW that the stuff I threw out was NOT even worth the $50...

My husband payed for that couch, the rugs were mine ( except one that she got at walmart for $11 ) , and then there was a blanket that she got back when we were in highschool ( it was just a cheap pink thin flannel thing) and then maybe 4 or 5 shirts - mostly t-shirts...


It makes me so sick... because this girl has been my best friend since our first day of high school ( over 10 years) ... we have NEVER had any kind of problems before, and now all of a sudden after I tried to help her she does this !!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I can see why you are sick. She isn't a real friend for sure. You went out of your way to be a good friend to her and she threw it back in your face.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:41 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • honestly i think she is bluffing. she would have the burden of proving what got ruined and how much it cost. i would just say o well....i'll see you in court then. i think your friendship is dead though....i don't really think you'll be able to get past this. she is not only rude, but greedy and ungrateful as well. gl in getting her out of your life

    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:41 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Tell fine, let's go to court. She will have to prove the worth of everything she is claiming with reciepts. She moved in rent free, lived rent free and expects the world to revolve around her. She was never really your friends.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:43 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I am so sorry. I know how much it can hurt to help someone and have them do something so hurtful to you.
    She sounds as though she feels entitled. Hopefully, she wakes up and straightens up. If not, try not to let this make you distrustful and bitter.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:46 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I agree w/GrnEyedGrandma - let her go to Court and make a fool of herself. And like I always tell my kids, money is the fruit of all evil. You were very good to her - you had done more for her than alot of people would of and I am very sorry that you are going through this.
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 9:50 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I agree with GrnEyedGrandma...I would not argue, I would let her take you to court and try to sell that story. I can't imagine how someone would feel that entitled. If it had happened in her own home, what would she have done? Who would she have to sue then? Nobody. I would let the friendship dissolve after that.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 9:52 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I am so sorry! She is totally taking advantage of you! I would point out to her that, since she was NOT a renter, she does NOT have any renters rights. Besides, as a renter - even if she was one - she should have carried renters insurance.

    Tell her that you are more than willing to let her take you to court to sue for the damages, but that you will also be filing a claim in small claims court (which is where her case would also be heard, btw), for the cost of having to clean up the things she left behind (that you had to throw out).

    It sounds like even if this hadn't happened, you were going to be "the bad guy", because now that they've worked things out, SOMEONE has to be the one that they're mad at because of their problems....

    (btw, if you do decide to help someone like this again, I would suggest something in writing from them, and not blending the families - they cook, live, etc in the apt, not upstairs.)

    gl !
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:57 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Sorry to hear, but I agree with the above, let her take you to court, she doesn't have a leg to stand on. It is just something your "might" have to go through. It sounds like she is desperate and not being logic at all. I wouldn't take it personal, I think this is something that desperation has created. Good Luck, Keep your chin up and don't be afraid of any of this. It is petty in the overall picture of things........
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 9:59 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Girl she is lucky she wasnt my friend.....thats really fcked up...u dont need her n let her take u to court she has no case momma...she alll talk dont fall for that.....wow! good luck, n next time dont let no one stay with you!
    koolmaa

    Answer by koolmaa at 10:00 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I wish I could say "i can't believe what she has done to you", but unfortunately, people have become such users and so mean. I lost my friend this year and I can't believe how mean she is that she is now taking it out on my dh in class and always trying to make me look bad in front of the teacher and the other moms. We had only been friends for a few years now, but no one can believe how from being so close we've gotten to this point! Anyway, it's a long story.
    Don't worry, she will have to prove what she had that was damaged in the storm.
    I can't believe how quickly people are willing to break friendships, when it takes so much work to build those relationships. Good luck.
    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 10:00 PM on May. 17, 2011

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