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Am I a bad mom?

I suffer from depression which I dont let it get in the way of parenting my child. I have only cried in front of my son twice. The rest of the time I save for when he is sleeping. I want to leave his father because we argue a lot. I started cutting myself to relieve the pain. Only twice and no one was around. Am I bad mother for doing that and for wanting to leave his fahter?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:57 PM on Dec. 6, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Of course you're not. You've done nothing to constitute being a bad mother toward your son, as you said you try not to even get upset around him. If the father's making you this upset then I would leave now, all round I think it would be better for you and your son. Good Luck.
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 6:59 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I don't think those things make you a bad mother, but I do think that you need to get some help for yourself and your sons sake.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • You are not a bad mother. You are ill. Depression is a very serious illness. It really sounds like it is time to talk to your doctor about it. The doctor can't take away your problems but he/she can guide you and help you manage your depression.

    I will tell you from personal experience though, that if you think about leaving him that much. Just reach out for help from a family member if possible and leave. I waited 8 years to leave and it ate me up on the inside. I did not get to cutting myself but I would pinch myself just to feel pain. You are a great mother for wondering if this is hurting your child.
    girlneffy

    Answer by girlneffy at 7:13 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • No, you are not a bad mother for those things. In fact, it sounds like you are not only a very good mother, but are trying to make yourself an even better mother by wanting out of a situation that you know is not healthy or good for you or your child. If you feel it's best to leave his father, then that's what you should do. The only thing I would suggest (and it is your decision, but just something to think of) is to see a dr about your depression if you haven't already and maybe get some marriage counseling for the relationship. Just kind of those last ditch effort kind of things, and of course, treating your depression will help you and your son to be a lot happier.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I agree, you are ill. you know that you are doing something wrong.

    But, you def. need to get help. For you and the sake of your child.

    I know what you are going through. and please dont get me wrong, but if you dont get help, then you will become a bad mother. it is not good at all to wait til your child is in bed and then you go cry and cut yourself. is that the life you want? i doubt it. it wont make you happy and it wont make your child happy.

    Please get help as fast as possible. I wish you all the luck in the world.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 7:22 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • you are not a bad mom for having depression - but it could lead to worse things than cutting if you don't seek some sort of help and leave your husband which is also adding to your depression. Good luck mommy
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 8:55 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • i was a cutter to, the only thing that made me stop was my son. i got on depression meds and they helped a lot, another thing is that im no longer with his real dad. you are definitely not a bad mother, you just need some help. think of your son, think of how he would feel if you were gone. you dont want that to happen so please stop cutting, i know it takes the pain away but if you leave this stupid guy you will feel a ton better and things can be AWESOME for you and your son. if you need anyone to talk to please email me, i know talking helps a lot. please trust those who are here to help and saying you need help and any one of us im sure will be willing to help in any way possible, i know i would
    workin_mamma

    Answer by workin_mamma at 10:54 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • you are not a bad mother!
    i suffer from the same things (all of them) and getting help is the best thing you can do
    i also used to argue with my hubby all the time, but for us, it was mostly my depression and bi-polar and me being nuts causing problems
    i dont know your hubby, but get help for your self before you make decisions about your relationship
    you might find its actually not that bad (i did)
    good luck
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 10:55 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • P.S.
    you can also PM me if you like, since i've been where you are now
    complete with cutting my self also,
    i would really like to help you get out of this hole your in!
    again, good luck!!! and lots of love!!!!
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 10:57 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • You are all so very sweet. Its just so hard and I know I am not the only one who feels this way. And Im not trying to throw myself a pity party. I just am at a loss. I am a stay at home mom with no income and he is not that bad. He just has some anger problems and I have past issues. I just am so unsure. He does treat me well but we just argue and argue. I have a past history of depression and was fine after baby was born but some stuff happened and im right back where i was. Thank you all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

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