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How can I motivate my 12 yo DD to do better at school?

My DD is 12, and in 6th grade. All school year, she has had problems with remembering to turn in work. I sit with her every night to make sure all her homework is completed, but then she doesn't turn it in, and it just sits in her binder....She has the same problem with classwork. I have spoken with her teachers, and they said that it is not their responsibility to remind students to turn stuff in. They said sixth graders are being prepared for high school therefore they are expected to be independent in turning everything in. Well now DD is failing the year, and we recieved a letter letting us know she will probably be held back. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I can do to help her do better with this? DH and I already remind her every morning as she's getting on the bus, and I check through her binder when she gets home. We even set up an allowance program where she gets money for remembering to turn in and complete all her work, and she still comes home every day with at least 1 assignment not turned in..I'm frustrated all around and don't know what else to do.


Asked by Joppamomofsix at 10:30 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • My 13 year old has short term memory loss and can be very forgetful about things. (He was tested at the school and they found this out in 4th grade). I work and am gone shortly after I wake him and his older brother up for school. So what I do is lay his homework or notes or whatever it is that has to be turned in on top of his back pack. This way he can see it when he is leaving for school. It's been working really well for him.
    The other thing I do is remind him at night when he's getting ready for bed, and I remind him 4 or 5 times before I leave. I know sometimes it can be frustrating, I feel like I have to remind him about everything, but the more I do the more he starts to remember on his own, sort like habit I guess. As far as failing I ran into the same thing, luckily I found 2 months ago and he has had time to pull up his grades, is summer school an option for her? That kind of consequence might help too.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:34 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • We used money bribes and it worked. :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 10:30 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Is she forgetful about things around the house too or is it only at school? If it is only at school you might try to get her a planner with due dates that she looks at before every class. Also since she is failing her classes if you haven't already I would start restricting privileges at home until she remembers to turn in her work. It might help to remind her that her job is school and how would she like it if you quit doing your job as her mother like washing clothes and ferrying her around?

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 10:36 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Im reading "raising motivated kids" (library). it is pretty good.
    it says to NOT use money/brides... But it seems like something else is going on. If she does the work & she sees everyone else turning in their work during class. SHE KNOWS ITS IN HER BACKPACK.. Try to talk to her & see what is going on. & dont let her tell you "I forgot"..
    Maybe you should start taking her to school 15min. early so she can turn in her work BEFORE SCHOOL.
    If it takes her failing a year to wake up. maybe that is what she needs. In 6th grade you should be responsible for yourself & your school work. 12yo is capable of getting themself up, getting dressed & doing their homework (asking for help) and turning it in on their own..
    Talk to her school councelor. Let her stay after school to make up stuff.

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 11:00 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Thanks for all the responses! There are four weeks left of school, which unfortunately is not much time to fix her grade average for the year, but I'm hoping for enough of an improvement that I can maybe convince the school not to make her repeat the grade, since doing the same work over again that she already knows doesn't really seem like the right solution to me. But if it has to happen, hopefully she will learn something from it and get straight A's next year.. She has already spent most of the school year with her TV and computer priviledges revoked, and she has a pretty hard time making friends, so she doesn't get invited out of the house for anything and it hasn't helped. Maybe I will do something like make a to-do list and put it in the clear pocket on the front of her binder so she sees it walking into every class. Thanks for the help!

    Comment by Joppamomofsix (original poster) at 10:58 AM on May. 18, 2011