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PLEASE HELP!! I have a 15 yr old cousin who I was raised with and we're like sisters. About 2 months ago I had the sex talk with her and i told her i didnt want her 2 get pregnant and that if she was thinking of having sex 2 wait until she was older...but if she didnt wait i told her 2 always use protection or 2 get on birth control. A month later she told me she wasn't a virgin and that she lost her virginity last year

so i told her dat i wanted 2 tell her mom bcuz i wanted 2 take her 2 da doctor...she begged me not 2 say anything so i didnt becuz i felt bad...but yesterday i noticed there was something wrong with her and I pulled her 2 da side and she told me she was we were both freaking out!!..she wanted me to help her get an abortion without her parents knowing but i cant do that to my aunt. She raised me and she has always been so good to me...the problem is that my aunt is very short tempered and she will probably hit my cousin...anyways...later on today i bought her more pregnancy tests and they came out she is not pregnant...but now i feel that i have an obligation with my aunt!! I want to tell her but i dont know how and i know that this will make her upset and i'm worried bcuz she has heart problems...i am also worried about what might happen 2 my cousin... but i do feel that she needs 2 be punished...i dont know what to do!!! Please help!!

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Asked by JulieFrancesca at 4:50 AM on Jul. 11, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • i have a fifteen year old daughter all u can do is help her get on birth control she will have to be checked for any thing she may have or not have but most important is to be their for her and listen she is tring to be open with you it is hard but better you be their for her then her not tell you anything and then you dont no if she is in danger

    Answer by joanette at 6:33 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • If you dont want to tell your aunt you could try to take her to a planned parenthood for free birth control. You could try to talk your aunt into taking her to the doctor, girls are supposed to be seen anyway when they have their period. She needs to be on birth control tho, no matter what it takes. She is to young to know what needs to be done. By you not telling her mom, you are getting in the middle of something huge and if she really gets pregnant it will be on your shoulders. Tell the mom.

    Answer by MommyMel03 at 7:16 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Help your cousin get on birth control. And make sure thatshe knows you love her and support her no matter what. She also needs to know about sexually transmitted diseases and how to prevent them. You also need to clue in her mother... No method of birth control is 100% and if she gets an STD or pregnant, that is too huge to hide from her. And disrespectful. Good Luck. Being stuck in the middle sucks. If you need someone to talk to, we are here...

    Answer by taracv at 12:26 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Thank you sooo much for your advice!! I really don't want to tell my aunt but I think I'm gonna have to tell her...I owe it to her!! Either way...if she finds out I'm taking her to the doctor she's going to know that it's bcuz she's having family is very old fashioned and they believe that if you're going to the gyno then you must be having either way she'll find out...

    Answer by JulieFrancesca at 1:17 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • also my aunt likes going through her things and if she finds the birth control she'll be in trouble anyway...i did tell my cousin that i'll always be there for her but i don't want her to think that just becuz i haven't told her mom that i'm ok with her having sex...i'm not becuz i feel she's too young and the worse part of all is that she's had 2 partners already!!...but i believe she's had more than just the 2 she told me about!! when we though she was pregnant we were trying to get a hold of the but we couldn't and to make matters worse is that she didn't even know the guy's last name!!! now i just believe that she's sleeping around with just about anyone...i'm planning on speaking with my cousin today bcuz i do feel i should tell my aunt...

    Answer by JulieFrancesca at 1:17 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • If your cousin thinks she's old enough to have sex, then she should be old enough to speak to her mother and tell her what she did. Your duty is to speak to her and educate her on the dangers of having unprotected sex and at such early age. Sex nowadays (my opinion) should be an activity that is shared between two people who are married for love and intend on spending there lives together. I've had plenty of sex out of wed-lock and now a mother of three, I reflect on my past and realized how I've wasted my life on those losers. Your boby and love is a precious gift that should be reserved for the one you are to spend your life with. I'm sorry to lecture, but too many guys are here for just (THAT) and not a life-long commitment. Don't stress yourself out on this just educate her and leave her to her own confessions.

    Answer by daisie at 1:19 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • There was a girl who was about the same age as your cousin. She was in a relationship and felt that she was ready to have sex. So she did and the first few times were normal. One time in particular she noticed she didn't get her cycle for the month. She told her boyfriend her suspicion and took a test. She took the test it came up positive all she could hear is her mom telling her if she ever became pregnant that she would be put out of the house. So she decided the only thing she could do was get an abortion. Her boyfriend had a full scholarship to college and she didn't want to disappoint her mom. She had a friend to take her to get the abortion. On her way her boyfriend called and begged her not to do it but she had made up her mind it was the only way to go. Her boyfriend hated her, her mom never knew what happened, and she was alone. This was the lowest point in MY life. Don't let this be your cousin. Tell your Aunt she deserves to know and your cousin needs the help.

    Answer by mrsknewton at 1:42 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Take your cousin to Planned Parenthood. Have them teach her about STD's and get her on birth control. She needs some direction. I may do that then pull your aunt aside alone. Ask her not to tell your cousin that you came to her but tell her what is going on and you are concerned about her. You want the best for her life. The communication needs to stay open with you and your cousin. Your aunt maybe able to be open with your cousin.....That communication needs to be there so that your cousin can talk with your Aunt and hopefully she is mature enough to guide her the right way. Im not sure she needs to be punished but she may need to understand the value of her life and that part of her. No better place to learn that than from our parents who are working hard to raise us. Remeber your Aunt used to be a teenager once .

    Answer by Momforhealth at 9:32 AM on Aug. 9, 2008

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