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5 Bumps

How do you know when enough is enough?

My husband and I have been together for 9 years, since we were 21. He went to Iraq and when he came home he was telling me all about this woman he met online. Nothing came of it because I told him it was wrong. (this was 6 years ago.) Things have been rocky to say the least. Lately he was acting strange so I started checking things on the computer. I found a bunch of sexual pictures of different women and even one of himself with our two daughters but he had cut them out. I tried typing in a web address but it kept coming up wrong, and I couldn't figure out why. It was because it was some matchmaking site or something. So I confronted him and he said he's not cheating nor will he ever. But I still didn't believe him so I checked his email. I have never done this before and the only reason I know is password is because I helped him set up his account. I found a bunch of emails from ads that he had responded to on craigslist of people looking for sex. I posted an ad but he never responded to it. I am hurt and crushed, but I don't know how to confront him without turning into the bad guy. Besides all this I don't like the way he talks to me or the kids and I have told him this before but nothing has changed. I think about leaving all the time but I have no job, education or money to support myself and the kids. And then after things get bad they always get better so then I don't want to leave. I am really confused right now and I guess I am wondering, is it worth it to stick it out or are we better off leaving?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on May. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Is it worth staying with a cheating bastard? You KNOW he's cheating. Why else is he doing that crap? You have to decide if you are worth being treated with respect.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • You know enough to know its not worth staying. I hope you make the right decision for you and your children.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:09 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • It's up to you. If it were me I wouldn't stick around. That's emotional too hard to handle and you deserve better than that. Get a job, any job (McDonald's, Walmart, anywhere), and get out. Don't stay with someone just because you feel like there's no way out. There's always a way out.

    Answer by myree85 at 11:11 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • i agree with the other mamas

    Answer by mamawilbur at 11:13 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • It's enough. Send him packing.

    Answer by pampire at 11:27 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I understand where your coming from althogh I was never cheated on my ex was an ass to me and the kids and i too had no way of suppoprting us on my own...if you dont think you deserve better your children do...that much I know...that's why i finally left...i move out of a state i loved to come back to a state I hate to live with my bitchy mom...I wound up meeting an amazing man though so it wasnt all bad...think about what you want for your children...think about how you would want them to be treated/treat a woman and you have your answer

    Answer by happymama02 at 11:29 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I would send him packing there is help out there for you to allow you to make it with your kids no one (male or female) deserves to be cheated on.

    Answer by smurfyangel at 11:48 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I dont think u were wrong to go thru his email. Just bc he isnt physically cheating doesnt mean he isnt emotionally cheating..even if all he does is talk 2 women online thats enough. I mean he is obviously doing something wrong or he wouldnt be trying to hide it. There is always help for single Moms out there so dont think ur alone! U can do it if thats what u decide. All the best and GL momma!!:)

    Answer by Heather021287 at 12:04 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • oo I would hate to see what he's doing while he's actually deployed. to be honest a lot of the men are the exact same. if u really want to be married to him stay and deal with it if not start the separation process.

    *I say this because I am on my 4th deployment plus I was married to a man that did the exact same things*

    Answer by mrsary at 12:54 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • leave- get a job- and get an education--- yes all things are easier said than done, but all things COULD be worse- at least you're able bodied and there are things like welfare, financial aid, etc...people have to work hard to get the things they want in life, it's just that some work harder than others...

    Answer by lexi8622 at 1:16 PM on May. 18, 2011

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