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Answers / Parenting / General Parenting
2 Bumps

HOW SHOULD I HANDLE THIS SITUATION

I've been in this realtionship for almost 2 years and now we are expecting our first born  in JUNE/JULY.. The point of this post is that I have been on bed rest since I was 16 weeks so you probably know I've been unable to work... Prior to me getting pregnant I've always been the breadwinner in the relationship and I will be after I have my son.My partner always oversleeps whenever he does have a joc it's like he doesnot have intiative at all.He recently lost his job and has not got another one b/c he prefers toget high instead of finding work!!

I am staying with my mother and he is staying with his.. He suggested when he got a job me and baby could move in with him, But i do not see him as dependable because he never has been.I spent my last few checks from work getting my son everything he needs...the basics while he has provided no money for anything.

 

I prefer to stay at my moms till I go back to work and save up money for my own place so I KNOW my son will have a roof over his head.But my partner insists on us getting our own place and me being a stay at home mommy.I donot want to do that because I want a stable home for baby and with me that is it. Right now I donot see any other way and will not have it anyother way.

 

What would you all do in a situation like this

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prdVirgobby

Asked by prdVirgobby at 11:40 PM on May. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,472 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • I wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole! He would rather get high than provide for his child? Forget it!
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:43 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I would be a happy little single mom...and wait for mister right.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:43 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • BTW, Baby Daddy..is NOT Mister Right.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:44 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Without sounding harsh, he has not shown he can be totally reliable. He should be looking for work, not getting high. I think you are totally right. Stay and save up at Moms until you can get your own place. Tell him when he shows you reliability, you'll consider it. Your instincts are right on...
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:45 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • This i know but how should I go about handling the situtation at the hospital and there on after?
    prdVirgobby

    Comment by prdVirgobby (original poster) at 11:46 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • I would not move in with him and I would not trust him to be a stay-at-home daddy. His priorities are just not what they need to be, to make him a good husband/father. Me? I'd move on, hon. Much as I hate broken homes and I really do believe a child needs two parents to raise him, but this guy is just not it. :( You do what you have to do, to provide for yourself and your baby. He is unnecessary baggage and will not help you or your child in any way unless he does some serious growing up. And don't count on that.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 11:48 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • TO START WITH THIS IS JUST MY OPINION IT WOULS REALLY BE BETTER IF YOU BOTH HAD JOBS AND YOUR OWN PLACE TO LIVE BEFORE JOINING TOGETHER AGAIN IF YOUR ABLE TO WORK YOU NEVER KNOW SITUATION CAN CHANGE IN A HEART BEAT REMEMBER WE AS WOMEN HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES MAYBE YOU COULD DO EBAY OR SOMETHING FOR EXTRA INCOME AND MAYBE HE CAN WORK ON BEING A DAD AND A PROVIDER ALSO ME PERSONALLY WOULD STAY WITH MOM UNTIL I WAS ABLE TO MORE FINANCIALLY HOPE I WAS ABLE TO HELP
    anna275

    Answer by anna275 at 11:48 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • Is there anything he can legally do to me if I stay with my plan??
    prdVirgobby

    Comment by prdVirgobby (original poster) at 11:48 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • You may invite him to the birth if he wants to be there and if you want him to be. But you have to tell him that far and away the most important thing in your life now is your child. He can share your and your child's life but only if and when he gets his act together. DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HIM or let him move in with you, until he's sobered up, got a decent job, and showed himself to be totally responsible. Once he's moved in, you'll have a much harder time getting him out of your life so don't go there until you're really sure it's going to be the right decision for you and your baby.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 11:51 PM on May. 17, 2011

  • No. He does not have a legal right to live with you and the baby. He may sue for visitation and that stuff, but they'll laugh him out of court if he's gettin high and sleeping late instead of holding down a job.

    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 11:53 PM on May. 17, 2011

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