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Venting!! Love being a mom HATE being a single mom!

Oh wow.. Never knew/thought how tough it would be. I have been a single mom since the birth of my daughter and it is extremely hard and is getting harder as she gets older. It trule sucks. ITS TOUGH ON ME FINANCIALLY, EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY !! Its hard working on one income to pay rent, utiliites, private school, food, clothes etc., etc.,
I love my daughter to pieces buts its hard! hard having to wake my 3 yr old at 6 every morning to go to school and hard to watch her come home at 5pm and being extremely tired that I have to force feed her a few bites before bed. Its hard that If I dont have anyone to get her from school if I am running late and in traffic. Tuition cost alot and its hard already and on top of that I HAVE to pay for BEFORE and AFTER school. Its so hard being tired.. No family no frend and no daddy for my daughter.

After she was born he decided he wanted to be a crazy nut and not be around. He made sproadia c visits until she was 2 before NEVER helped with taking care of her in any kind of way.

since her birth he has given me only a money order for $20 which I tore up.

Our marriage ended before he was an unfaithful piece of &^$%.. He was my high school sweetheart that I lvoed among all things and defied my parents to be with and now I am left cold.

I want to go back to scholl to get my masters of even my nursing degree and that is impossibela dn I will be stuck working pay check to pay check..

anyone else feel like this? I feel like no one is in my place and I am so jealous of those with husbands s/o and just an overall companion. I literally have no one and its just me and my daughter.
sometimes its scary because I say god forbid if someething happened to me at home no one will know and my daughter will be left alone.. its hard and scary.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on May. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Yes. But I also realized that my daughter and I are better off without him.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:35 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • Oh honey, wish I could reach and give you a HUGE HUG. Breathe darlin, you're going to make it!! Sounds like though, you are better off as a single mom for now :) You live for your daughter, that's easy to see. Just remember it will not be like this for ever, I promise :)
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 10:39 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • i understand. have you ever thought about joining a support group for a single parents? what about coworkers maybe they can take care of her sometimes so you can have some mommy time. there is support out there. i understand how hard it is. my parents help me but once i finish school i am going probably get a job not in the area and i will be on my own. hang in there you are very strong and there is help out there to go back to school. you are doing great mama. just be strong you daughter has a very strong mommy and everything will work out.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:40 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • hi, with you
    except my child's father decided for other reasons that his priorities were not being her father...when daughter was 3!
    so daughter misses him, wish he had never been in the picture because on top of all your concerns i also have daughter missing him, in 8 months - he has given 120 dollars to support his child (which was in his life until she was three-how does he figure this, does he just think she dissappeared?) but he does have a new flat screen 55 inch HDTV, and a 2nd motorcycle!

    my biggest gripe is hearing other moms with partners complain about trivial things, like their man not helping out enough, leaving socks on the floor, spending too much time working to support the family-the list goes on- they have NO CLUE, when there is NO father, the complaint of he does not do enough takes on a different meaning
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:41 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I'm so sorry. You really need to get out and have some female friends. My daughter and child live with me, and she sometimes starts hating the world and we realize she starts feeling like you are describing. She feels like she is on a hamster wheel. Where are your parents or siblings? You need to find friends that can possibly help ease your burden somewhat.
    Is there any way you can do some online classes in preparation for maybe in the future taking more classes for some kind of medical degree?
    I know it's difficult to see others with a husband/SO. But understand, not all those couples are in happy land. You can't change what's happened so far so accept it, work with it. As much as you miss your daughter when your at work, you still need to get out even if it's just coffee and dessert.
    jillsanimalfarm

    Answer by jillsanimalfarm at 10:42 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • thanks for letting me vent too
    hugs, you are not alone
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:42 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • I was a single mom too. It was just like you explained it, VERY hard. Living paycheck to paycheck. Working so many hours, paying daycare, not seeing my DD as much as I would have liked to. But my DD is now 21 and I am married (have been for 5 yrs now) and guess what? It can be just as hard with a husband. I actually enjoyed being a single mom and only having to think of how I wanted life to go. All decisions were mine and mine alone. I felt that it was actually harder and more stressful to have to always take into consideration another adult for all the decisions you make. I know that it is very very hard to be a single mom (believe me, I had to work 3 jobs to support us) but looking back I wouldn't change it. Actually when I got married I had wished that I had waited until my DD was grown and out of the house because of how much more stress it put on me having a husband and child to deal with. Just try to enjoy the good stuff
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • When I was a single mom I loved being a mom and hated being a single mom just like you. I always felt a twinge of guilt over the fact I spent more time at work then I did with my kids. I dont count watching them sleep as time with them. I knew they needed a better more stable life and deserved to have two parents in their lives at all times. But my ex, like yours, was an asshat. He only just started coming around now that they are teens, and only started paying child support when our oldest was 14, almost 15 yrs old.

    Things do get better though. I met and married a wonderful man. We had been friends forever before we started dating so he knew what he was walking into.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:47 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • As much as you miss your daughter when your at work, you still need to get out even if it's just coffee and dessert.

    Answer by jillsanimalfarm


    ...........Thats the thing Killsainmalfarm, I cant have time out.. who and where would I live my daughter? I live work and immidately pick her up because school is out at 2 and she waits in afterschool for me.. I couldnt possibly go out with her waiting and being at the school since 7 until 5pm.


    Its tough.. There is absoletly no me time.. not even on a saturday morning because she wakes me at 7 :(

    I hope it does get better though
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:11 AM on May. 18, 2011

  • again to answer jillsainmalfarm.. My mother lives in another state and my family... thats a whole different topic. NO ONE in my fmaily likes to be a family. They all value friends and family comes last.. EVERY SINGLE member of my family is like this.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:12 AM on May. 18, 2011

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